The Key to Meditation

The key to meditation not grasped by a lot of people is to combine meditation with sleep! A good state of meditation is mind awake, but body asleep. That’s one of the things we’re trying to achieve.

Relaxation, the first step, is important because that is what will put your body in that sleep state. What we’re looking for with meditation is voluntary controlled sleep of the body while the mind remains focus and concentration.

You want to breathe deep to slow the rate of respiration and slow the heart rate as well. That’s why we take the time to relax the body because the “voluntary controlled sleep” is what we’re trying to do. Ironically not a lot of people know how to relax, and relaxation is a skill. With time you get better and better at it, and you can put yourself in a deeper state much quicker.

In the beginning everything in your house bothers you, the traffic outside, the neighbors, the heat. Everything seems to bother you and prevent you from relaxing. But over time you can quickly get yourself into a deep state of relaxation, which is what you need for meditation.

Techniques for Concentration

All meditation techniques that you come across or read in a book or practice are really the same thing; an exercise to get you to concentrate. Concentration is key. Every meditation technique is just something for you to concentrate on. It’s something for you to focus your mind on in an attempt to wrestle control of the thought process away from the subconscious. Consequently, there are a whole lot of different techniques:

Mantras

Mantras are specific sounds or phrases that are vocalized or chanted during a meditation for a specific purpose related to spiritual development. Here are a few examples:

Gate, Gate, Para Gate, Para Sam Gate, Bodhi Swa ha
This is a Tibetan mantra meaning “gone, gone, gone to another shore, completely gone to another shore, enlightenment, hail!” The mantra is sung in chant and is used to reach a deep state of meditation known as the “illuminated void”.

WU
This mantra is used to clear the mind of all thoughts. The sound should be vocalized as the wind or the sea blowing or washing away your thoughts.

OM
This is a famous Tibetan mantra to develop clairvoyance.

It’s more effective for you to pick one mantra that you like and stick to it, rather than mess around with a bunch.

Zen Koans

These are tricks to occupy and silence the mind. Your mind is kind of a pest and it’s a really difficult thing to control. Zen Koans are a way that we can exhaust our mental process by giving it a little trick or riddle to solve.

Koans are meant to be inaccessible to rational understanding and cause the thought process to stop. It’s a riddle that your mind cannot solve because it has no rational answer. It’s a question that the intellectual process can’t answer because it relies quite heavily on reason and logic.

What happens when we’re working with a Zen Koan is the mind fails to grasp the meaning or find the answer and in the end the intellectual process is defeated. It’s like giving a playful dog a toy that it actively plays with until it exhausts itself and drops dead. A Zen Koan is like the ultimate dog toy. All it does is it keeps the mind so busy, it puts the mind into overdrive until eventually the intellectual process just stops. The mind exhausts itself.

Examples of Koans:

• What came first, the chicken or the egg?
• What is the sound of one hand clapping?
• If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
• It is not the mind, it is not the Buddha, it is nothing?
• Take an object and begin breaking it down into its components. Continue breaking down the components into components until arriving at the smallest particles at the atomic level. What do they break down into?

You have to concentrate on the koan and attempt to solve the riddle. Let your mind explore every possibility, no matter how silly. You have to be determined. Gradually your mind will tire out. Be persistent! Your mind will attempt to distract you from the koan with regular mundane thoughts. Don’t identify with them and lose the koan. Persistence in solving the koan is what tires out the mind, don’t give up!

Duality Technique

The Duality Technique is the continuous process of placing opposites against every thought that we have. It’s intentionally thinking the exact opposite of whatever thought enters our mind. This teaches us a lot about the way our thought process works. To us everything is opposite.

Remember, every thought has two polarities, positive and negative, thesis and antithesis. Hot/cold, tall/short, pleasure/pain, entering/leaving, etc. Whatever it is, there’s an opposite of it. That’s how we’re wired to think. Every single thought that enters our mind, we see as a duality to something else.

When the thesis and antithesis come together, they’re reconciled in the synthesis. If you take one step forward and then take one step backwards have you gone anywhere? No. You got the positive and the negative and that’s reconciled and balanced in the neutral. That’s what we’re trying to do with the duality technique, everything you think of, you’re going to find an opposite for.

Every mental form can be eliminated through its synthesis. The subconscious introduces an image or memory in an attempt to get us to identify with it and fantasize and dream while falling out of the present moment. What we’re trying to do with the duality technique is eliminate those mental forms.

This is something you can demonstrate physically with light, sound, or radiation, just by inverting polarities. The thought that enters our mind is like one polarity. We’re going instead generate the opposite polarity to cancel the thought out. It’s like our mind wants to push us in one direction and step forwards, but we immediately step backwards so we haven’t gone anywhere.

Thoughts should pass through the mind without leaving a trace, not identifying. The thoughts in our mind should be like cars on the street simply driving by. We don’t acknowledge it and get in and let it take us for a ride. Or the thoughts in our mind could act like clouds in the sky, just drifting by without interacting with us whatsoever. When we reach that state where the thoughts just pass us by, then we can say that we’re not identifying with them.

Imagine your mind as a clear lake. Every time a thought enters your mind, be it a memory or image, that suddenly creates all these ripples travelling out on the lake. The thought is like a stone dropped in a pond and all the ripples that are created are like you identifying with the thought, letting it pull you in different directions. We want to create a situation of a calm, blue lake and a stone dropped into it, and then nothing, no reactions.

We eliminate the traces by arriving at the synthesis. The negative cancels out the positive and negates the effect of the thought. The thought is the subconscious pushing us in one direction, and we’re going to push back with an equal force in the opposite direction. The net result being no movement. There’s no consciousness shift. You simply stay in the present moment with awareness. You don’t identify with the thought or image.

For every thought that comes in our mind, it’s always one polarity. We always associate with one aspect, but after that we have to immediately generate the opposite aspect. For example:

• If you’re thinking it’s hot wherever you are, imagine it’s cold.
• If you’re thinking about your fun plans for the weekend with friends, think “no, it’s going to be boring.”
• If you’re excited about a road trip coming up, think of how exhausted you’ll be at the end of it.
• If you’re excited about a new job you’re about to start, think of how much of your time and energy it’s going to take up.
• If you’re fantasizing about your significant other, think of how much they’ll age as they grow old and lose their beauty.

We have one polarity. We have to acknowledge the other polarity, which allows us to arrive at the synthesis, the blending of the two. Another way of looking at it is a coin, heads or tails. It’s just one coin with two sides.

Being human we only want to acknowledge one polarity of everything. We draw this line in the sand and say “I like this. I don’t like that. I only want to be over here. I never want to be over there.” By defining our own happiness we consequently define our own sadness. By defining our own pleasure we also define our own pain. That’s something we can discover by using the duality technique. We can discover how the mind works and creates these little polarities.

By reaching further and further to one side, we’re also reaching further to the other side, like a pendulum that swings. The further you push it to one side, the further it’ll swing to the other side.

By the duality technique we’re trying to achieve a state of balance in our emotions and thoughts. Working with the duality technique allows us to experience that state of balance by being in the present moment. Usually our whole life is like half of the pendulum is in the past, and half of the pendulum is in the future. But there’s a very precise point in time when the pendulum is in the center. That’s the present moment.

Normally, we ride the pendulum and swing along with it. Instead we should jump off the pendulum and simply watch it. Have a different perspective right in the middle. That’s what we’re trying to do with the duality technique. That synthesis is that point of balance that’s neither one extreme nor the other. It’s the exact correlation of the two, the state the consciousness works at.

This technique is different from other techniques that are trying to stop your thoughts. With the Duality Technique you’re more like “Bring ‘em on!” The weird thing is you usually immediately stop thinking about stuff when that happens. It’s almost a form of self-observation too because you’re deciding to be “conscious” of all your thoughts. You’re going to have a tug-of-war with your mind until your mind gives up. You’re left in control. That’s what’s happening with the duality technique.

The result is to make every arising thought ineffective, no ripples on the pond. For every step forward the mind tries to take, we make it take a step backwards. Because it’s the flow from positive to negative that the subconscious uses to sustain itself. Like a teeter-totter going up and down, the subconscious uses that flow to sustain itself. What we’re trying to do in this process is interrupt it, to bring the mind to a halt. And then we’ve arrived at that synthesis, that different state of consciousness. The infinite procession of thoughts are exhausted and the mind remains still.

Obstacles to Meditation

During meditation our mind is assaulted by memories, preoccupations, desires, etc. The more you meditate, the more you start to control the regular mundane thoughts. Soon, the subconscious gets tricky and it’ll throw like a wild card at you. A memory might come up that you haven’t thought in decades maybe. It throws something at you that gets your attention. The more you meditate the more you get a sense of that; a thought that comes out of nowhere. It could be something pleasant like your first kiss or even a fear.

The good news is if you got to that point then you’re doing something right, because you’re fighting all the regular mundane thoughts, so something stronger had to come through.

The subconscious creates obstacles to our attention and concentration and attempts to distract us. To establish a correct basis for meditation we must be free of ambition, fear, egotism, greed for powers and yearning for results. If you’re an “instant gratification” kind of person then you’re not going to have a very pleasant time with meditation.

Lack of Concentration

The largest obstacle is a lack of concentration. We are so bad at concentrating. If you’re bothered by the noise or the time or temperature, then you’re not concentrating. If we can’t concentrate we will fail to progress. If our mind “is flying everywhere” we do not get the benefits from the practice. If we aren’t concentrating we are doing the practice mechanically, which gives no results.

Concentration shuts off all thoughts but one which leads to the stage of meditation or “non-thinking.” Concentration must be practiced in order to learn. The good news is you can practice it anytime you want to, no matter what you’re doing.

We can learn to develop concentration during daily activities. Whatever we are doing, focus on just that, the task at hand. It could be washing the dishes, driving to work, tying your shoes, vacuuming, or gardening. Anything can be a practice for concentration. If you practiced concentration during the day and then practiced meditation later at night, your concentration would be that much better because it was already used to focus on the chores and tasks that you did.

Time

When meditating we have to forget about time and live in the eternal instant, stop keeping track of time. When beginning meditation we find ourselves constantly aware of the time and wondering “how long it’s been”.

When we start learning to meditate, it’s like “time” becomes your goal. “How long can you do it for? 5 min, 10 min, 20 min, 30 min.” You become obsessed with how long have you been sitting there. That’s another trick the subconscious plays with you. You want to stop keeping track of time. We also set limits such as “I’m going to meditate for 30 minutes” and then spend the whole time wondering if it’s been 30 minutes yet.

In a good meditation time disappears. Ideally if you’re going to meditate it should be open ended. “I’m just going to do this and stop when I stop.” You can use music that stops at some point or set an alarm, and let the alarm take care of the time. We all have this internal clock that we really have to break free from.

Fear

This aspect of our psyche must be comprehended or else it prevents us from reaching higher levels. When the subconscious is silenced and the consciousness is liberating itself, the sensation can feel like dying, ceasing to exist, losing our identity, being annihilated, merging with everything. These sensations can trigger fear which pulls the consciousness back into the bottle of the subconscious.

Doubt

Doubt happens when you’re sitting in the chair. You’ve been practicing for a while and you go “This isn’t doing anything. This is a waste of time. I’m better off doing something else. Maybe meditation isn’t for me.” That’s how doubt works.

We have to dissect doubt to see what other impulses it hides. Why do you not think you can do it? We must self-criticize to find out why it exists. There’s plenty of documentation about different states of consciousness in meditation. So they’re there. Why is it that you don’t think you can get there? And you have to arrive at that conclusion for yourself. It could be related to fear or self-esteem, but you really have to have a good look at why doubt happens. For some people doubt becomes a big obstacle.

We must not identify with the mind. Doubts are created by the mind. If you’ve identified with doubt, you’ve identified with an aspect of your subconscious, which means you’re not concentrating. Eliminate doubt through analysis and discover the root of it. You might discover fear may be behind doubt; fear of the unknown.

Importance of Meditation

Meditation is like the “daily bread” for our consciousness. It’s like a workout for our consciousness. It strengthens it and makes it grow. By developing that consciousness we’re able to learn more about ourselves and penetrate further into the hidden side of our psychology. By strengthening that consciousness we become better at controlling difficult aspects of our mind like anger, anxiety, depression. That’s why it’s important to practice meditation regularly if you ever want to master any psychological problems you may be struggling with.

We know that our subconscious is responsible for the endless train of thoughts that fly through our mind continually. Only when the subconscious is completely silent then befalls a different state of consciousness.

Our subconscious mind is like a room full of people screaming for our attention. There are hundreds of people in that room, and in the corner is a small child. The child represents the consciousness. Normally we can’t hear that child because of all the other people screaming. With meditation we can silence everybody else in the room so we can focus on what that small child has to say.

Mediation is like the “daily bread” of the wise. Just like we need nourishment to keep the body going, we need a different type of nourishment to keep the consciousness fed. And the type of nourishment that feeds the consciousness is meditation.

Some Benefits of Meditation:

• Physical and mental relaxation. A lot of medical professionals are almost “prescribing” mediation for things like stress and high blood pressure.
• Allows us to study ourselves, aspects of our subconscious mind. It allows us to get a greater awareness of ourselves. Through the process of mediation we can turn off the subconscious and arrive at a different perspective of ourselves.
• On a really basic level mediation serves to silence the “internal chatter” caused by the subconscious. Your greatest challenge when faced with mediation is simply quieting the mind. It’s one of those things that seem simple to do, until you actually try to do it.

The whole path towards awakening the consciousness begins by understanding how to turn off the subconscious. How do we awaken the consciousness? We need to remove that which is putting it in the sleep state, the subconscious. We have to turn off the subconscious so we can work directly with that consciousness.

Every meditation technique is really just a tool for concentration. The whole purpose of concentration is to take control over the thought process, and quiet that endless train of thoughts and arrive at a different state of consciousness.

Remember the 3 step process of Identification, Fascination, and Sleep. The subconscious produces a thought or an image in our mind, which we then identify with, and now becomes a distraction. Then we get fascinated by it. So we think about it, we fantasize, we daydream, we plan. The whole time that process occurs, the consciousness sleeps profoundly.

All those thoughts and images flying through the screen of your mind act as a distraction. You identify with them, which causes you to become fascinated with them. You’re then taken out of the present moment and find yourself back in the past reliving a memory or pulled into the future, daydreaming, planning, or worrying. The whole time that’s occurring, the consciousness sleeps profoundly.

Ideally during meditation we don’t want to identify with the thoughts and images that the subconscious produces. We want to see those thoughts and images pass like cars on the street or clouds in the sky. They simply pass us by and we don’t identify with them.

Normally what happens in our normal state of mind is those cars drive by and we wave at one of those cars, it stops for us, we open it up and get inside, and let it take us for a ride. We let the subconscious take us into the past or future, but out of the present moment. What we want to do is simply let those thoughts pass by without identifying with them. Keep our concentration, and keep our focus, on whatever the practice happens to be.

The most elevated form of thinking is non-thinking

Immanual Kant

That’s a strange thing to describe, because we have so many thoughts and images flying through our mind at any given time, it’s really hard to imagine what it’s like to have no thoughts. When you think of a state of “no thoughts” it sounds really “boring”, like there’s nothing going on. But it’s actually the exact opposite.

When we’re able to turn off the thought process we can discover something else that’s been there in the background the entire time. We just haven’t noticed it yet. It’s a much more elevated state of being, an elevated state of consciousness.

The most elevated form of thinking occurs when we turn the thought process off. It occurs when we turn off our subconscious, which is continually projecting all those thoughts and images on the screen of our mind. When we can turn them off we can experience a much more elevated form of consciousness.

Meditation and the Subconscious

When we achieve the stillness and silence of the mind, then the subconscious becomes absent. When we quiet the mind we’re just turning off the projections of the subconscious. We’re quieting the subconscious and letting the consciousness take control over the thought process.

Normally the thought process is a tool for the subconscious, which generates 30-40 thousand thoughts a day in the average person. What we want to do is take back control of the thought process and hand it over to the consciousness to achieve a different state of awareness. When we achieve that stillness and silence of the mind then we achieve a different state.

Mediation awakens the consciousness. It’s really a way to liberate that consciousness. It’s like a workout for the consciousness. That’s why mediation is the daily bread of the wise. Meditating every day or meditating regularly allows us to grow and develop that consciousness.

Through mediation we also learn to control our mind. When our thought process is a tool for the subconscious, it’s really hard to control. It’s really hard to stop that endless train of thoughts. If you’re a worrier for example, it’s really hard to stop doing that. Through meditation we can learn to take control of the mind and begin to dominate it.

When thinking is under control, illumination comes spontaneously. Think of meditation as just to take control of the thought process. Our job, our task is just to quiet the mind. Once the mind is quiet then a different state of consciousness starts automatically. It’s always been there, but we just haven’t been able to notice it because of all the background noise.

The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear.

Ram Dass

Just like that child in the corner of the room with 100 people. That child has been speaking the entire time, we just couldn’t hear it. If we shut up everybody else in the room then we hear the child. We can’t make the child talk louder. We just have to quiet everybody else in order to focus on what was always there.

Meditation can be thought of in the same way. It’s our job to gain control of the thought process. It’s our job to quiet the mind. Once the mind is in a still, passive, and receptive state, then that illumination, that consciousness frees itself spontaneously. There’s nothing you have to do to make the consciousness free itself or to experience that illumination. It happens of its own accord provided we’ve quieted the mind.

In order to quiet the mind we course have to develop concentration. It’s through concentration that we gain control of the thought process. Once we bring ourselves to that level where we can keep focus and keep concentrated for an extended period of time, then that illumination comes spontaneously of its own accord.

Our mind is a prison and we must dominate our mind if we want to become independent of it. Unfortunately we’ve fallen into a trap where we think that our mind controls us. The thoughts and emotions almost seem to come from outside of us and it’s something that we seem to have no control over. The key to dominating the mind is simply willpower. The strength and willpower it takes to do the practices to learn to take control of our own mind.

It’s just like if you wanted to learn to play the piano. You need the perseverance to actually learn and then start to practice. No matter what skill you want to acquire it’s a matter of willpower and perseverance to arrive at your goal. Controlling the mind is the same thing. It’s something that can be done by anybody who wants to take the time to learn some techniques and practice them.

Through meditation we can then continue the work on our psychology. We can meditate on a specific aspect of our psyche we’ve discovered through self-observation to fully comprehend it. So we can use meditation as a tool to penetrate the hidden side of our psychology, getting deep into our subconscious. Through meditation that consciousness really starts to grow and develop and shine brightly. We can use the light of consciousness to illuminate more of those dark corners of the mind.

What Happens During Meditation?

During meditation we can temporarily “un-bottle” our consciousness from the prison of the subconscious. We find a state where we can temporarily turn the subconscious off, allowing the consciousness to free itself. Recall the story of Aladdin and the lamp.

With meditation we are trying to gradually bring the mental process to a pause. It’s something we have to work up to. Through the early stages of meditation we’re bringing the thought process to a pause. We’re slowing down that endless train of thoughts. We can’t instantly stop them straight away, but we have to work them to come to a pause, slowing things down.

With practice the pauses in thought become longer and longer, allowing us to enter into a peaceful silence that has no mental words or images attached.

Each of these arrows represents a random thought that’s flying somewhere in your mind right now. That’s the normal human state of consciousness that we find ourselves in during an average day. It’s just thoughts and images flying everywhere, a jumbled mess. The whole purpose of meditation is to turn that into this:

That is concentration, a single thought held for a purpose. That could be concentration on a candle flame, your heartbeat, a mantra or sound. It doesn’t matter. Every meditation practice is trying to get you to this point. It’s giving you something to focus on and hold onto as you try to turn off all that other stuff. There’s that thing you want to focus on, but it’s lost in all the noise. You want to turn off all the noise, just to get down to that single thought.

That line keeps getting interrupted by other thoughts trying to take you away from that point. That’s the mind fighting. It wants to take you back to that state of identifying with random thoughts. We’re trying to hold a single thought for a purpose. That is all you need to do. Once you can hold that single thought for an extended period of time, something interesting happens:

We start to see gaps appearing in the thought process. Those gaps are the points where the consciousness frees itself. Those gaps are the most elevated form of thought, the stages of no thought, where we can experience that different state of consciousness.

You have to go through these stages one after the other. The continuous random thoughts to concentration on one thought to the pauses in the thought. During the early stages of meditation we find ourselves flipping between the first two states, like a tug-of-war. If you can keep that tug-of-war up through perseverance and willpower eventually you stay in the 2^nd. And when you stay in the 2^nd state eventually you jump to the 3^rd. The pauses won’t happen until you concentrate on a single thought. This is why the skill of concentration is so important.

You’re trying to hold that thought for as long as you can, whether that thought is mantra, a visualization of a plant, candle flame, or heart-beat. It doesn’t matter. The whole purpose of all those practices is to develop the ability to concentrate. Because if you can keep your mind firmly focused on a single a thought without deviating, the pauses or gaps will happen spontaneously.

You have to be able to concentrate to get those breaks in the thought process, and concentration comes with practice. If we practice 15-20 minutes once or twice a day, then we’re going to see progress if we keep that up. If we sporadically practice every couple weeks then it’s not going to be that easy to do. It’ll take a lot longer to reach our goal.

Phases of Meditation

The process of meditation can be broken down into 5 phases.

1. Assuming a comfortable position, “Asana”
   
   Your body is a huge distraction to meditation. All these movements and little forms of discomfort are a distraction. Part of meditation is being able to let go of the body. We must relax the body so we aren’t distracted by the physical sensations of discomfort.
   
   Do whatever you need to do to relax. Lie down in bed, or sit in your easy chair, or sit cross legged on a rug. It doesn’t matter, it’s a personal thing. The whole point is to relax the body and put it in a state where it will no longer distract you.
   
   Whenever you start a meditation, spend a few minutes sitting down and breathing deep to bring a different state of relaxation to the body. That excessive oxygen let’s your muscles relax and the heart rate slow down and blood pressure drop.
   
   Posture must be still. The key is once you’ve found that relaxed state you can’t move. Your body will want to move. That’s the subconscious trying to distract you. Fight the urge to scratch that itch or shift your weight.
   
   
2. Blanking the mind, “Pratyahara”
   
   This is silencing the mind, removing thoughts. You can pretend your mind is like a whiteboard or blackboard and just erase everything on it. Or pretend it’s like a tabletop and just sweep everything off of it. You want to remove all your thoughts. Tell yourself to “leave all your worries and distractions at the door. Pick them up on your way out.”
   
   Before we can concentrate we must have a “blank state”, nothing to distract us. You have to put aside all those thoughts and worries and make a “pact” with yourself. “I’m going to deal with this or worry about that in 20 min or ½ an hour.”
   
   You want to wipe away all that stuff that’s been bugging you all day at the back of your mind. Just sweep it out of the way and say “I’m not going to deal with this right now.”
   
   
3. Concentration, “Dharana”
   
   Concentration is thinking one thought with a purpose; focusing on only one thought. When we’re in this concentration phase we can’t identify with any thoughts and we can’t identify with any sensations of the body either. We want to hold that single thought for as long as we can.
   
   Focus the mind on everything within, almost like shutting off all our senses and going internally; separating ourselves from mundane earthly thoughts, all those distractions of everyday life. Stop worrying about all that and just direct our attention internally.
   
   
4. Introversion “Dyana”
   
   The meditation, profoundly reflecting on the content of the single thought we are concentrating on. This is where we lead up to those pauses in that thought process. This is the most elevated form of thought, the non-thought, the introversion.
   
   
5. The ecstacy “Samadhi”

We start by relaxing the body, then we move to relaxing the mind, then we move to concentrating or meditation itself. The concentration brings out the pauses, the elevated form of thought. That brings out Samadhi.

Guidelines for Meditation

Practice with your eyes closed. This is necessary to eliminate distractions so we can become “introverted”.

Must be absolutely relaxed, so the body will almost “sleep”. We must learn to provoke and regulate drowsiness at will. The key to deep states of meditation can be described in 4 words: mind awake, body asleep. That’s what we’re going for. A different state of consciousness can arrive when we put the body asleep, but keep the mind focused. Your body won’t sleep unless it’s relaxed.

Be consistent and regular in your practice. Have tenacity and perseverance. You can set aside an area of your home such as a room or a corner of a room for your meditation space. You can associate that place with peace and relaxation. Make it symbolic so when you walk in that space and close the door or draw the curtain, it’s like shutting yourself off from the external world. When you light the candle or incense, or put on a type of music you like, make that symbolic of a switch to a different state of consciousness. These are all cues you can use to help you get in that state quicker.

You must develop concentration and that is so easy to forget. It’s so easy to slip into that state of continuous random thoughts because that’s the state that we spend most of our lives. You have to fight for that state of concentration. It’s a battle, a tug-of-war with your own subconscious mind. You have to keep pulling it in the direction you want to go. You have to take a whip to that donkey so you can climb on top of it and start steering it in the right direction.

Your intellect must assume a receptive, tranquil state. Observe your mind and thoughts, but don’t identify with them! Like cars on the road, let them pass you by. You don’t wave the car down, get inside and let it take you for a ride. You can’t make them stop. They’re going to come, but you have to not identify with them.

When you start to not identify with them, the subconscious gets creative. It tries even harder to distract you. So next thing you know, you got memories you haven’t even thought of in years popping up. Strange images pop up. All of this is an attempt to get your attention, to get you out of the practice.

Eventually, the subconscious gives up. It’s persistent, but it’s really lazy. That’s the point where the mind becomes quiet and we can liberate the consciousness.

Psychological dependence on other people is a form of slavery. If our manner of thinking, feeling, and acting depends on the thoughts, feelings, and actions of people who interact with us, then we are slaves.

If we get angry when somebody insults us, we’re a slave. If we feel happy when someone compliments us, we’re still a slave. If we’re really insecure and worry too much what other people think, we’re a slave.

If we want to dominate the subconscious, we need to be free. Anyone who depends on the behavior of others will not be able to dominate their subconscious. Our conduct must be our own and must not depend on anyone. Our thoughts, feelings, and actions must flow independently from the inside to the outside.

The worst challenges and difficulties of life offer us the best opportunities for inner discovery and self-observation. In difficult situations we have huge opportunities to study all our impulses: our thoughts, sentiments, actions, our reactions, decisions, etc.

Interaction is a full-length mirror in which we can see ourselves as we are and recognize psychological problems that need work. If we are properly attentive at each moment we can discover hidden aspects of our psyche. They flourish and leap out when we least expect it.

People complain because of the difficulties that interaction offers them. They don’t realize that those difficulties are precisely providing them with the necessary opportunities for their psychological work. If we really want to dominate the subconscious then we have to observe our interactions with other people, and study all forms of psychological slavery.

We’ll soon realize there are 2 types of conduct:

1. The first type of conduct comes from the outside and goes towards the inside. This is the result of psychological slavery and is produced by reactions of our subconscious.
2. The second type of conduct flows from the inside towards the outside. This is of the one who is no longer a slave, one who no longer depends on the thoughts, feelings, and actions of others. That type of conduct is independent and comes from our consciousness.

When we master and eliminate psychological slavery we’ll produce radical transformations in our behavior. We’ll no longer get hurt or offended when someone insults us. We’ll no longer get embarrassed or feel insecure when we’re mocked or laughed at by others. We’ll no longer be scared or intimidated by other people’s short fuse or temper. We’ll no longer be controlled by other people and be free to think, feel, and act however we want.

Idealized Self-Image

We have created a portrait of ourselves-a perfect idealized image. We put ourselves on a pedestal and don’t acknowledge our mistakes. If we do acknowledge our mistakes, it’s normally to rationalize them. “Well I know I got angry, but you did this or some circumstance happened which basically meant I had to get angry.” We tend to do that from one side of our lives to the other. We put ourselves on a pedestal and don’t acknowledge our mistakes.

We’ll easily excuse behavior within ourselves that we wouldn’t tolerate for a minute in other people. We easily pass away all kinds of things that we do and rationalize “that it was okay because”, but we won’t tolerate that for a minute from our friends, family, or coworkers. We are hypocritical and have a tendency to hide our own errors.

We create this sense of camouflage and we hide a lot of our errors. So not only are we not aware of them in the first place, we have a tendency to not want to be aware of them; to keep them covered up. It’s almost like a weird state of self-preservation or some kind of defense mechanism. It’s almost like aspects of our subconscious help hide each other by covering each other up. These are some of the things that make it hard to get a sense of who we really are.

When the light of the consciousness illuminates our hidden side we reduce the false image of ourselves to dust and discover our true selves. We have to be prepared to take down that false image, because if we’re not correctly perceiving ourselves, then we can’t perceive the world around us. This is a difficult thing to do and not a lot of people want to do that.

To work on your psychology you have to hold up a mirror and prepare to really accept the reflection that comes back. A lot of people don’t want to do that and would prefer to hide all that stuff. It’s just easier to think everything we do is perfect and continue rationalizing and we can do that indefinitely. But it takes a certain amount of strength and willpower to say “You know what, I’m not perfect.”

We all perceive ourselves to be perfect. “It’s other people that are the problem. It’s other people that need to be judged and condemned and put in the right place and sorted out”. We very rarely want to do that to ourselves. But to work on our psychology, we have to be prepared to look at ourselves, honestly, without judgement, and work towards changing who we are.

Projecting our Errors

This is a difficult concept in these studies of psychology. It may take a while to understand this and do a lot of self-observation and reflection to really understand this concept. Understanding this concept is to understand that we’re not perfect.

We project the unknown unconscious side of ourselves onto other people and then see it in them because we all carry the same aspects of our subconscious. That which we so much criticize in others is the usually same thing which lies in the hidden side of ourselves. We’re all humans. We all have the same psychological aspects.

So next time somebody does something that bothers us, instead of criticizing, condemning and judging them, why don’t we look inside of ourselves to see if we’ve ever done that behavior. Check if we’ve ever manifested that particular action or emotion that they happen to be exhibiting.

We’ll see others as we really are! The errors we criticize in others also exist in ourselves. There are many things that we see and react to in other people, but we’re all humans. We all carry the same psychological aspects. They just manifest in different ways to different levels and different degrees, but we all carry the same.

You know that person that drives you nuts at work, or that friend or co-worker that annoys you, the person that drives you crazy, don’t forget that you’re somebody else’s. We all have somebody that bothers us, a neighbor, co-worker, family member, or in-law. We have to remember that we are that for somebody else. So instead of judging or criticizing that person, we use them to discover things within ourselves. We can use other people as mirrors to see what we are.

Next time you see somebody getting carried away and angry, ask yourself have you never gotten angry before? There’s nothing in your life that’s ever gotten you angry? Have you never lost your temper? You don’t know what circumstances they’re in and what pressures and life challenges they’re under. Instead of judging and condemning them, would it not be more beneficial to really analyze yourself? That’s exactly what we’re talking about here.

We think we are perfect and become offended if anyone suggests otherwise. If someone tells you that you have a temper, if you were really honest you’d say “Yeah you’re right. There’s times that I get angry” instead of “Who the hell do you think you are telling me I get angry? What’s your problem?” But the typical human behavior is when we get any kind of information that doesn’t match our idealized self-image, we have this weird self-defense mechanism; where we immediately spring forth to defend that image.

That which condemns and criticizes others is our own errors, our own subconscious aspects that we carry within! In the end what is it that’s judging and criticizing our fellowman? The subconscious psychic aggregates that we carry within. So we’re using the non-perfect side of ourselves to judge and condemn other people for not being perfect…. That doesn’t even make sense. Yet we do it all the time.

What is it that’s judging and condemning and criticizing other people? It’s the errors that we carry within ourselves, the subconscious psychic aggregates that we carry within. And if you really reflect on that for a while it seems almost absurd or silly, but that’s what we all do. There can be aspects of my subconscious that are reacting to and judging and criticizing aspects of your subconscious.

We should start asking these questions when we condemn or criticize others for:

• Losing their temper, have we not ever been angry?
• Lying, have we never lied?
• Being “full of themselves”, full of pride, have we never been proud? Have we never been excited about an accomplishment and wanted to share it with other people?
• Drinking in excess, have we never had “too much”?
• Driving erratically, have we never made any driving errors? Of course not. We may have, but we had a “perfectly good reason for doing it at the time.”

When you’re driving on the highway a common conclusion is anyone who’s driving faster than you is a “maniac”. Anyone who’s driving slower than you is an “idiot”. That’s what we do. We look at ourselves as the perfect scale and we use that to measure everything else. The problem being is we are not perfect. That’s not the scale to hold the rest of humanity towards.

Instead of criticizing all these things in other people, use other people as a mirror in which to measure ourselves. When we see other people, use them as a lens to measure ourselves. Be honest and ask yourself “have I ever done this?”

Improving our Relationships

When we know the hidden side of ourselves, our own errors, we then see our fellowman correctly, without projecting our own errors onto them. When we really get to know who we are, and we’re able to know that hidden side of ourselves, then we’re actually able to see our fellowman correctly. We’re no longer in a state of consciousness where we react to other people.

Remember a large portion of our life is spent reacting to other people and other people bring out all types of thoughts and emotions and manifestations of various problems within ourselves. When we’re able to correctly relate to ourselves then we’re able to correctly relate to other people. When we illuminate the hidden side of our psychology and see ourselves in the correct light, then we see other people in the correct light.

This allows us to basically not identify with somebody else’s manifestation of their subconscious. If we truly comprehend an aspect of our psychology, we no longer react to the manifestation of it in other people. We can than accept and tolerate this behavior in other people without reacting to it.

For example, if we know and comprehend our own anger – be aware it exists, become conscious of its causes and effects- then we will understand the manifestation of anger when we see it in others. If you truly comprehend anger within yourself, you know longer react to anger in other people. Normally when we see people getting angry there’s a reaction there. We have a reaction, then they react, and we react, and the situation escalates.

We can avoid reacting to the manifestation of the subconscious in other people because we truly understand it within ourselves. When somebody gets angry, if we truly understand anger, we can almost take a “sympathetic” view like “I’ve been there, I’ve been angry too. Anger is a tough one. It really gets you going and gets you to say stupid things, lash out at people, like you’re doing to me right now, but hey, it’s an emotion. You know. It’ll pass, and I’ll come back and talk to you when the emotion’s passed and we can resolve the problem.” Rather than reacting and getting offended and lashing out etc.

Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Mahatma Gandhi

By changing yourself you then change other people around you. Think of a situation between 2 people about to get angry and start a fight. An argument or fight needs 2 sides. If you’re trying to be angry with me but I’m not going to be angry back, then my subconscious isn’t going react to your subconscious and escalate the entire situation. So, one person choosing not to identify with that anger is going to change something in the other person as well. It’s about being the change you want to see, which reflects in those around us. We change the influence we have in the world, which then improves the lives of those around us as well.

One must receive with gladness, the unpleasant manifestations of others.

Samael Aun Weor

We must learn to be PASSIVE and not reactive. Being passive doesn’t mean being a push-over, letting people walk all over you. It’s about having a passive psychology as opposed to a reactive psychology. Remember a reaction is a manifestation of the subconscious. To be passive is to use the consciousness, to stay in the present moment with awareness. We’re not simply reacting to the other person automatically or mechanically. We’re not allowing them to push our buttons and control us.

If you say something that offends me, and I react in anger, I’ve identified with an aspect of my subconscious. I’ve allowed that aspect of my subconscious to manifest and then perhaps it’s making me say and do things. When we react to something and identify with an aspect of our subconscious, we sustain and strengthen that part of our subconscious.

Anytime we’re not reacting, we always have a fork in the road available to us. The subconscious wants to go left, and if we react then we go left, but if we remain in the present moment and work with the consciousness, there’s a fork in the road. The subconscious wants us to go left, but now we have another route, the route of the consciousness, which is right.

Conclusion

When we start to create a realistic portrait of ourselves, we change the way we view the world and others around us. It all begins with the self. We got so many people trying to make the world a better place by telling other people what they’re doing wrong. But if everyone just took a different point view and made themselves better, then we’d make everyone else better in the process.

We must self-observe constantly and before criticizing others, criticize ourselves. Instead of using that time and mental effort and energy to criticize other people, direct that internally and take an opportunity to learn more about ourselves. It is more useful to stop criticizing others and use the opportunities for self-discovery.

So if someone makes us angry, remember that at some point we’ve made someone else angry. We carry the same things inside all of us. We just don’t really see them and don’t observe them in ourselves to the extent that we can observe them in other people. We want to work towards changing that. Use other people as a mirror to search deeper inside ourselves.

We need to examine ourselves to varying degrees and varying extents. We all have the ability to get angry and jealous etc. Some people will take those emotions to different extremes, which we may not go that far. But we all carry the same root of that behaviour within ourselves. By working to eliminate that root within ourselves, then we’re going to be slowly changing all of humanity a little bit at a time. Just like Gandi said: “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

This is what leads us to be able to tolerate unpleasant behavior in other people and just live in harmony. If everyone were able to understand this concept and work with it, we’d probably make the world a completely different place.

We tend to place ourselves on a pedestal and create this non-realistic image of who we are and how we react to others and our position in life. The problem with that though, is once we have this false image of who we are, everything we do is based on that image. Our whole life is spent acting and reacting to who we think we are, which leads to problems.

We spend so much time judging, criticizing, and condemning other people and really not much time doing that to ourselves. So we consequently look around and judge other people and what they’re doing, while we walk around with this idealized self-image, this over inflated sense of self. And that’s a problem. It creates all kinds of tensions, frustrations, and suffering for humanity as well.

We all do have a portrait of who we think we are. For many people that portrait isn’t even close to the true reality of who we are. And we can see that with our friends and family and coworkers that think of themselves a certain way and we know that they’re not really accurate. They don’t see the problems they cause themselves in situations they get in with unrealistic views of themselves.

The Hidden Side of Our Psyche

Just like the moon has a “dark side”, a hidden side which is not seen, our psychology has a hidden or unknown side. When you look at the moon there’s only a small portion of the moon visible at any given time depending on the phase of the moon itself. But remember that because the moon basically rotates at the same rate as the Earth, we never get to see the back of the moon. The moon always shows the same face to us. We can’t see what’s going on the other side. The same is like our psychology. We’re only conscious of a very small part of ourselves.

We live in a very small part of ourselves. Our consciousness only illuminates a very small aspect of which we’re aware of. But that’s kind of like the tip of the iceberg. Within us there is a hidden part of our psychology – aspects of it that are never visible to us. When you think of your own personality, yes there are some aspects of your psyche that you’re aware of, but we carry much more that we’re not even aware of.

You can think of your subconscious as a really big room with no lights. The consciousness is like a small candle that sits in the corner. That candle illuminates a very small area that we can see, but leaves a lot of the room dark. Our own psychology is like that. There’s a small area around that consciousness that we can kind of perceive, but there’s a lot of stuff moving in the darkness that we’re not really aware of.

Part of this psychological work is to illuminate that dark area by developing that consciousness. It is turning that candle into a bigger and bigger flame until eventually it’s a giant spotlight, which lights up the entire room. This means becoming aware of our entire psychology leaving no place for the subconscious to hide.

Think of walking into a hotel. There’s the main lobby that you can see, but there’s all these other rooms in which you have no idea what’s going on in. The mind is like that as well. The main lobby that you walk into is the conscious part of your mind. All the different rooms that you can’t see make up the subconscious.

Just like walking into a hotel, you might see a few people standing around in the lobby. They would represent the aspects of our psychology that are visible to us. But inside the hotel you have no idea who’s in the rooms and what they’re doing or what they’re up to.

We’re only aware of a few people coming in and out of the front lobby. We can see them as them as they come in and out, but we don’t know where they’re coming from. We don’t know where they’re going. We don’t know which rooms they’re staying in. They’re just visible to us as they pass in and out of the front lobby.

Our consciousness is like that. We see aspects of our psychology that are coming and going from time to time, but we really don’t know where they came from, what they’re trying to do, and we don’t even know how many there actually are. What we want to do with the consciousness is to go from room to room basically clearing it out. We want to get rid of everybody in the hotel leaving just us inside of it.

We are only aware of a few of our most conspicuous aspects of our psychology. We must discover the hidden ones. Part of our goal in awakening consciousness is discovering the full aspects of our psychology. We want to discover all the hidden aspects of our subconscious, because these are responsible for most of the impulses and motives and desires that drive our life.

The hidden aspects of our psychology become the forces that direct the ship of our life. They become the wind and the waves that steer our ship: These are like the puppet masters to which we dance. And that’s why a big aspect of this work is to discover and work on aspects of our psyche that we carry in a hidden sense; The one’s that we’re not really aware of; The one’s that we’re always excusing, the one’s that we never really pay attention to that are still lurking in the background.

We have many things inside us that we neither know nor accept. There’s many aspects of our psychology that we’re just plain not aware of. They manifest in our behaviour, perhaps our loved ones or people close to us can see them manifesting, but we don’t.

Sometimes we have aspects of our psyche that manifest and we know they’re there, but we just don’t acknowledge them. We tend to rationalize their existence or justify them, saying “I did this because of that person, or because of the circumstances, etc.” That’s what we do. Most people inherently, aren’t bad people. They don’t want to do bad things, but they up hurting others with their actions and then rationalize it later. Like they had no choice or the circumstances deemed it or they just weren’t paying attention or even sensitive to their actions on other people.

So it’s not just that we have aspects of our psyche that we don’t know. Many times there’s certain aspects of our psyche we have good reason to suspect exist, but we chose not to acknowledge them. We chose to deny their existence and justify and rationalize all the various things that happen when they manifest.

Our mind is like a city. Just like a city has nice fancy upscale areas and bad degenerated areas where crime and poverty exist- so does our mind have “good and bad” areas. That’s the thing to remember. We all like think we’re perfect. “I know I’m alright. You all might have problems, but not me.” We tend to do that all the time. We don’t want to acknowledge our dark side.

Some of our actions will be for compassion and the benefit of other people, but then again sometimes they’ll be selfish and self-interest. So we have to acknowledge that we’re not perfect. All of humanity is not perfect. We’re usually under the assumption that “everybody else has got something wrong with them, but we’re okay,” and that’s the idealized self-image.

Just like every city has a nice part and a bad part, our psychology is like that as well. We tend to play up the good parts and want to ignore and forget the bad parts. Just like any city does it through politics, we do it with our own psychology.

Just like if we’re driving through a city, we are usually aware of what area of the city we live, work, and travel in, we should be aware of what parts of our “psychological city” we are in at any given time.

If we have an action or thought or impulse, then where did it come from? Did it come from that nice upscale good area of the city, a.k.a. the consciousness, or did it come from that bad seedy part of the city, hidden aspects of our psychological depths. If it’s coming from the subconscious, then which aspects of it is it coming from? Is it coming from the aspects of our psyche we’re kind of aware of, or is it coming from deeper levels, a more hidden side of our psychology?

The hidden side of ourselves is important because this is where we find the origins of our errors. We find the origin of a lot of our psychological problems in the hidden side of ourselves. This is something psychologists know, if you go see a psychologist they will ask you questions about your childhood, dreams, thoughts etc. Because they know if they start poking around inside the subconscious mind they can often find the root of things like depression of insomnia or various anxieties.

People can have fears and phobias that can manifest as various physical ailments as well. If you’re in the wrong state of mind emotionally and mentally it can literally make you sick. We all know this. Just think of when you’re really nervous. That has profound changes in your body. Your heartbeat goes up. You start sweating. There are all kinds of chemicals dumped into your bloodstream, like adrenaline.

So everything from our physical health to our thoughts, emotions, can be affected by what’s happening in the hidden side of our psychology. The problem is we have no idea what’s going on in there. We have no idea what’s going on in those hidden hotel rooms that we can’t see. We really have no idea what the motives and impulses are.

Consequently the hidden side of ourselves becomes one of the reasons why we incorrectly relate not only to ourselves but also with our fellowman. We find a lot of conflict in the various relationships we have from society or humanity as a whole, but also personal relationships with family, friends, and coworkers. Some of the reasons why we incorrectly relate with people are found in that hidden aspect of our psychology.

If we don’t even correctly relate to ourselves and fully understand ourselves, how are we supposed to understand other people? If we don’t understand what’s going on in our own psychology, how are we supposed to understand other people’s psychology? If we have a totally distorted perspective of who we are, how are we supposed to know who anybody else is? The problem is we don’t do that. We just make all these assumptions, and go through life acting-reacting to the various situations that we find ourselves in.

Discovering Hidden Impulses

The subconscious can be controlled and changed through rigorous comprehension, which is why self-observation is so important. You can only learn about yourself by observing yourself. Remember that our whole lives we have been building patterns of behavior. We’re mechanical, creatures of habit. We have patterns in the chairs we like to sit in rooms, but we also have patterns in our emotions and our thoughts and various aspects of our psychology.

We have to question those patterns and ask why. “Why do I always get angry when someone insults me? Why do I get embarrassed when people are laughing at me?” We all have our own reactions, but why do we have them? They’ve been there for a long time, but that doesn’t necessarily mean because we’ve always done that, it’s right or correct.

To comprehend the subconscious we must analyze all our subconscious motives, the actions and reactions of the subconscious both externally and internally. We have to find the hidden impulses and determine their root causes.

The mind is like an onion with skins you could peel off. If you find that you react a certain way to a certain circumstance, ask yourself “Why?” You peel off one layer. You just keep peeling off the layers until you get to the root cause of some of your behaviors. You do this for whatever particular challenges you have in your life. You have to keep peeling everything back until you get to the root. That’s when you’re going to see changes in your psychology.

Examples of Hidden Impulses:

• Envy=source of fuel which drives our materialistic society.
• Self-importance=source of anger, impatience, pride, frustration etc.
• Low self-esteem=source of social anxiety, embarrassment, depression.

So these are examples of hidden impulses that aren’t visible straight away. When our neighbor pulls in with a nice new car, we feel that jealousy or frustration or displeasure. Why? Where does that come from? These are impulses that we keep coming back to. This is what is meant by self-observation and comprehension.

Life is an extraordinary psychological gymnasium. Everything that happens to us, every obstacle in our life is there for us to learn something about ourselves. In relationships with our fellowman the hidden aspects of our psychology in the subconscious depths flourish spontaneously.

The concept of Projecting Our Errors is where we use other people as a mirror to reflect aspects of our own psychology. There are always things that we would never really see unless there was something to bring it out. Rather than standing there condemning, criticizing, judging, reacting to other people, we can use the manifestations of other people like a mirror to search within ourselves for that behavior.

Studying our dreams can tell us a lot about the hidden side of ourselves. Self-observation and being aware of ourselves is something we want to extend into the process of dreaming as well. We can learn a lot about our psychology from our dreams. Many aspects of our subconscious that we don’t see manifesting in our everyday lives, we can catch manifesting in our dreams.

As we progress in psychological self-observation we become more and more conscious of ourselves. Remember the time we spend questioning, asking and studying ourselves is a workout for the consciousness. The brighter that light shines, the more aspects we see of our psychology. It’s like a mechanism that sustains itself, but it begins with such a simple thing, self-observation.

It’s the first step on the path, but once we get that ball rolling and once we start learning about ourselves, then we start drastically changing how we see ourselves and how we see the world around us.

Looking at how the subconscious manages to get the consciousness into that sleep state, there’s a 3 step process: Identification, Fascination, and Sleep. The profound sleep in which humanity lives is caused because we:

1. Identify with aspects of our subconscious – we see them as part of ourselves.
2. Become “fascinated” by everything – we forget our consciousness and become distracted.

A certain aspect of our subconscious creates a thought or an image in our mind, and we then identify with that thought. Then we become distracted or “fascinated“. Fascination is the process of the fantasies, the memories, the planning, the daydreaming, whatever is created by that thought. While this is happening, the consciousness sleeps.

The trigger can also be an external circumstance or situation or event like a traffic jam, or someone insulting you, etc. You would then react to this circumstance and become distracted by it, while a certain aspect of your subconscious manifests itself and your consciousness sleeps.

The subconscious plants the trigger for you to identify, which is the thought or image on the screen of your mind or the external circumstance. That’s like the bait. You then grab the bait and become “fascinated” with it. While you’re fascinated with it you’re feeding and sustaining that particular aspect of your subconscious, and your consciousness sleeps.

For Example:

• The alcoholic is fascinated by drinking, bars and his drinking companions.
• The vain woman is fascinated by her appearance. She’s constantly identified with how she looks and grooms herself with make-up etc.
• The rich are fascinated by money and possessions. They are constantly thinking about finances, and constantly strive for money and possessions.

We can be fascinated by all kinds of things, whether they seem “good” or “bad”.

• The honest worker is fascinated by hard work. It doesn’t have to be negative.
• The hardworking student is fascinated by studying and achieving high marks and grades.

Remember when we look at the subconscious as entirely negative we tend to “exclude” ourselves from it. We might think “I don’t lose my temper and get into fist-fights. I don’t have a problem with anger” or “I have an honest relationship. I don’t have a problem with lust” or “I don’t have a problem with drinking too much” or “I’m a man. I’m not afraid of anything.”

The real danger is we look at all that stuff and say “That’s not me.” But we can be fascinated by many things, they don’t have to be negative. They don’t have to be bad or problematic like alcohol or drugs or anger. There are all kinds of things that fascinate us. There’s a trigger that we react to. Our thoughts and our feelings many times are simply reactions to circumstances outside of our control.

We’ll find the process of Identification, Fascination, Sleep is what actually makes us “traumatized” or “mentally scarred” or “damaged” by our past. Our subconscious can produce bad memories where we may have been mistreated in the past. We’ll then identify with those memories and get angry. Our subconscious can produce embarrassing memories from the past. We’ll identify with those events and feel insecure. The whole time we’re distracted by those memories our subconscious is sustaining itself while our consciousness sleeps.

We carry out the same fascinations at night while we’re asleep. When we go to sleep that daydream continues on. So the daydreams that we have in the day, everything we think, the fantasies, they become the reality we experience at night. We’ve all had something on our mind when we fell asleep and ended up dreaming about it.

Fascinations are the things in life which distract and consume us and cause us to forget our consciousness. They take us away from the present moment and keep us in that profound sleep state, that lower state of consciousness. From that vantage point we can’t see many things about ourselves. So we go around walking in a daydream all the time. What we’re trying to do is elevate our level of consciousness to a different state allowing us to perceive more about ourselves.

Remember that all these “distractions” are serving a purpose. They’re all opportunities to learn and work on our psychology. The things that happen between family, co-workers, spouses, and all the circumstances of life that we have are there for us to learn from. All the thoughts, images and memories that appear on the screen of our mind are also opportunities for us to learn. They’re showing us what aspects of our psyche that we need to work on.

We have to actively engage the circumstances around us, so we can self-observe and use these opportunities. We also have to become more aware of our own thoughts and images and memories so we can see which aspects of our psyche are trying to sustain themselves. Then we can start to understand more about our subconscious, and work towards changing it.

Our daily lives are a psychological gymnasium. Practical life is a tremendous school. A lot of things that happen to us are an opportunity to learn something. They’re giving us a chance to uncover a certain aspect of our psychology, learn from it, and better ourselves.

All those things that happen to us, the frustrations, the successes, the failures of life are all opportunities for us to learn. We can see our everyday life, from getting up in the morning, to going to work, to coming home, is like a workout for our psychology. Just like we go to the gym to work-out and perfect our bodies, life is where we go to work out and perfect our mind.

Unfortunately, daily life also becomes a distraction. Instead we get caught up in things like possessions and materialistic things, and friends and family and relationships, and coworkers and our job. We get caught up in all these things.

The greatest distraction and the barrier to inner peace and self-awareness is the subconscious. What creates the distraction? What creates the obsession with material things, the houses, the cars, the job, money, etc.? Where does that all come from? That comes from the subconscious.

What is it that prevents this inner peace? Why are our emotions always up and down and our mood always side to side, and our thoughts always coming and going? Why are we always flying all over the place? It’s the subconscious. Why is our consciousness asleep and we can’t have inner happiness? That’s all because of the subconscious.

All psychological work begins with rigorous observation of one’s self, attention concentrated on the full observation of ourselves. What is it that we think? What is it that we feel? What is it that we do? So many times we’re oblivious to all the different motives that drive our everyday life. Unfortunately our subconscious mind is where a lot of our motives and impulses come from.

We must stop believing we’re a single individual and comprehend with direct observation that each desire, each thought, each action or passion corresponds to one aspect of our psychology or another.

We must attempt to separate from our psyche the diverse undesirable elements that we carry within. We have to start to be able to delineate the difference between the consciousness and the fear, the anger, the depression, the jealousy, all these different impulses that drive our lives.

Self-Observation

Self-observation is the tool we use to suddenly have that revelation and start to learn to distinguish between the consciousness and the subconscious. Self-observation is becoming aware and conscious of all our thoughts, feelings, and actions. That’s the ultimate goal, but we have to get there a little bit at a time.

So if you’re in a difficult situation, self-observation is then being aware of what are the thoughts going through your mind in that situation, what are the emotions and feelings you’re experiencing, and what are your physical actions.

Remember we’re like a puppet on 3 strings. The strings are our thoughts, feelings, and actions. That’s how the subconscious controls and influences everything we do, in the meantime feeding and sustaining itself.

We need to be in a situation where we’re behaving a certain way, but suddenly realize how that aspect of our psyche is manifesting. For example, we might be making bad relationship decisions and then suddenly realize “This is actually the result of a particular fear. I’m only acting like this because I’m afraid of being alone. I don’t want to be alone right now, so consequently this is happening.”

It could be feeling ourselves being frustrated and angry and then realizing “this is only happening because of my inflated sense of self-importance. I’m angry right now because I’m very important and don’t these people know what they’re doing? Hey wait a sec, I’m not so important. I’m not more important than anybody else. What’s going on here?” That’s how self-observation works.

Self-Observation is used to discover the various aspects of our psyche, and how they influence and control our lives. Recall we’re like a small ship tossed about in the stormy waters of the ocean. Well we better figure out what the wind and the waves are doing and where they are trying to take us.

We’re trying to discover the effects the subconscious has on our actions and lives and figure out what they’re trying to do. All of us have different aspects of our psychology trying to accomplish different things, different desires, and wants. We have to figure out how these things are steering us and directing the course of our lives.

How to Self-Observe

When we truly and sincerely begin to observe ourselves we end up dividing ourselves into two parts. If we sit down and give self-observation a try we will instantly create a split. If right now you asked yourself “What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What am I doing?”, then you will create a split and separate yourself into 2 parts.

1. The observer-that which is watching, the consciousness.
2. The observed-that which is being watched, the subconscious.

When we work with self-observation there are a couple things that happen. First we create a split, which immediately diverts the attention to the consciousness. That’s like a workout or an exercise for the consciousness. Usually we don’t pay any attention to the consciousness and pay a ton of attention to the subconscious mind. When we self-observe that’s a workout for the consciousness. Every time we do it the consciousness gets stronger.

The other thing that happens is you get placed in the present moment. The consciousness lives in the present moment. The subconscious is trying to drag us into the past or pull us into the future and never wants us to be present. For you to suddenly say “What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What am I doing? Where am I? What’s going on?”, you’re suddenly becoming aware and focused in the present moment. It snaps you out of whatever daydream you were in.

The subconscious can’t observe the subconscious. It is the consciousness that observes it. In order to begin the process of self-observation, we have to shift the attention to the consciousness, which then begins to watch the subconscious, which creates a different state of mind immediately.

Whenever we work with self-observation there’s always a fork in the road. We can go one of 2 ways: the conscious way or the subconscious way. The subconscious way gets us into all kinds of problems in our life. The conscious way doesn’t.

So let’s say something happens that makes you angry. If you’re not self-observing, you’re identifying with the subconscious and giving into the impulses it has. Maybe you’re lashing out at somebody, saying hurtful words, getting frustrated and tense. But if you’re working with self-observation and create that split, then you can watch those things as they develop, but from a different vantage point. The whole time you’re from this vantage point, you’re not identifying with the subconscious. You’re not giving into it.

You can feel the impulse to think “I really want to say this or do that” but you’re not giving into it. It allows you to stay conscious. A normal course of action is to give into the subconscious, and act, feel, say, do whatever, and then look back later and regret your behavior. Working with self-observation allows us to be conscious and not give in to the subconscious. While we’re conscious we’re able to learn things. We’re able to get to a different perspective on situations. We’re able to arrive at a different revelation.

We have to almost fold our attention internally, and that’s something we normally don’t do. Our attention is always directed externally and we never look within. By never looking within and paying attention to our interior, we’ve created an image of ourselves that’s not very accurate. We have all these preconceived notions of who we are and how we should be perceived that in many cases are completely inaccurate.

Instead of judging ourselves and learning about ourselves, we instead judge, criticize, and condemn other people. Rarely do we ever criticize ourselves. The whole process of self-observation is almost folding your attention inwards instead of outwards at other people.

Many things like frustration, anger, impatience all stem from an elevated sense of who we are. “I am very important. Don’t you know what you did to me?” When we look at our behaviour we see that we excuse actions in ourselves that we wouldn’t tolerate for a minute in others.

So when somebody is getting us angry, instead of directing all that anger at them because they did something, we’re instead folding that attention inside to see where that emotion came from. Why is it there? Why is it manifesting? What is it trying to get us to do, to think, to feel?

If we’re paying attention and we’re alert like a sentry at a time of war, we can see these things sneaking forward. Creating that split is necessary in order to not identify with aspects of our subconscious. The mistake we’ve been making all our lives has been giving into them; we’ve assumed they were us. If we felt angry, then we went with anger because “I am angry”.

When we see these subconscious aspects of our psyche as “part of us” we identify with them and that’s what we’ve done our entire life. That’s why we’ve found ourselves getting angry, being depressed, being afraid, being frustrated, being anxious, being impatient, etc. We’ve always identified with them and we saw them as part of us.

If we identify with aspects of our subconscious we strengthen them. We may find that emotions and thoughts are almost an “addiction”. We may find for example, people that have a short temper are almost literally “addicted” to their anger. So they find themselves manifesting it all the time. People who are addicted to depression find themselves depressed all the time.

If we have a problem with anger or fear or depression, then they are constantly trying to manifest themselves. There are all these circumstances that are happening in our lives that the subconscious wants to associate with. It’s finding little ways to trigger these emotions. So when certain triggers happen, you’ll be depressed, or angry or scared. The subconscious uses those little triggers to generate those emotions and essentially “feed” and sustain itself. Part of self-observation is starting to recognize these triggers and watch out for them.

We also have start determining the source of our behaviors, and which aspects of our psychology they’re coming from. We must be able to say “this thought is from pride” or “this desire is caused by lust.” We have to be able to see the thoughts, feelings, actions, and recognize where they’re coming from.

When we start to self-observe we will notice repetitions of events, states of consciousness, words, thoughts, desires etc. that exist in each day of our existence. We live a very mechanical existence and we’ve gone through our whole life with these formulas of A + B = C. We have inherited behaviors, prejudices, and all kinds of stuff that exist in our psychology.

We will experience first-hand the level of mechanics that governs our lives. We usually aren’t aware of how mechanical our existence is. When you start paying attention you can see everything from your morning routine to what you do on your way to work to what you do at work to what you do when you come home. We have these mechanical things that we do over and over again.

We’ve all made mistakes from when we weren’t paying attention. We’ve caused problems because we weren’t conscious. We weren’t thinking. Our mind wasn’t into what we were doing because we had that level of mechanics, which created that complacency, which allowed us to daydream.

Many times we are completely oblivious to things around us. There are all kinds of details we miss in our environment. There are things we’re not even aware of. How many times have you been looking for something and realized “Oh it’s been there all along. Why didn’t I see it before?” Because you weren’t conscious. You weren’t taking in all the information. We’ve just created many times our own reality around us, which can lead to all kinds of strange behaviours as a result.

Self-observation creates awareness. That awareness activates the consciousness. Self-observation says “I need to be here in the now and pay attention.” That breaks the cycle of mechanics, which allows the consciousness to activate and come forth in the present moment.

That awareness then allows us not to identify with the subconscious. Not identifying with the subconscious then allows us to study it and understand it. That brings us one step closer towards being able to control it and change it within our psychology.

When to Self-Observe

The goal is to be constantly observing ourselves from moment-to-moment, fully aware of the subconscious within us. Somebody with their consciousness awakened is fully aware, fully observing, working directly with the consciousness from moment-to-moment. That’s the goal. Obviously it’s going to take us a little bit of time and practice in order to reach a state like that. That’s not going to happen overnight or instantly.

But like any skill, we have to start somewhere and gradually develop the ability. It is impossible to observe moment-to-moment without any practice. We have to work up to it. Just like it’s impossible to sit behind a piano and pull off Motzart’s best symphonies if you’ve never learned to play the piano.

And it’s important to remember that because when we don’t see results we tend to get frustrated. You have to treat this like you’re just learning how to play an instrument. If you’re 6 weeks into learning the piano you’re not playing symphonies yet. You’re still figuring out where the keys are. We have to start somewhere.

To start the process, begin by choosing a time each day or a time on certain days to self-observe. We want to equate self-observation with a regular action that we do; something as simple as tying our shoes, having a shower, or driving to work. It could something as simple as whenever you leave one room and walk into another room.

Whatever you do you just want to say “During my day x=self-observation.” You could put reminders on your computer or your phone or notes around your house. The idea is to make self-observation a habit. Pick a process. “When I do this, that means I’m going to self-observe for as long as I can.” Eventually you’re going to slide back into your regular state of mind because of the strength of the subconscious, but you want to start this.

The easiest way to begin is to observe all those mechanical habits when facing all the small mundane tasks at work or home. You may want to self-observe when you’re angry or when you’re afraid, but those emotions and impulses are so strong, that it’s really hard to stay conscious if you’re not used to self-observing.

Yes, we want to try to self-observe when we’re angry or when we’re afraid, but we need to get some practice because those are strong emotions, which generate some powerful thoughts. You’re going to have a really hard time if that’s what you’re going to try to do first. But if you’ve got some practice and you’ve developed that consciousness a bit, then it’ll be easier when that anger manifests or when that fear manifests.

That’s why the best way to start is with those regular mundane things; having a shower, washing the dishes, tying your shoes, driving to work, because it’s fairly simple to self-observe for short periods of time on something mundane. But by doing that you’re strengthening that sense so when that anger does manifest you stand a greater chance at being able to self-observe. And over time that ability grows and grows.

For example, decide to self-observe while getting ready for work in the morning or while doing a particular activity at work we find “boring” that you go on autopilot for. Depending on what your work day is, everybody has something they do at work that they just go on autopilot for. You want to basically associate self-observation with something. So when you’re doing this activity, self-observation happens.

Remember when you’re doing this to put your focus and attention on the moment and task at hand. What are you thinking, feeling, and doing? What are those thoughts going through your mind? Where did those thoughts come from? This is your chance to analyze yourself. And then after you’ve done that go back to your task, but try to stay aware for as long as you can; before those thoughts, those fantasies, those daydreams come back in, and take you out of the present moment.

Don’t let the subconscious distract you – no automatic actions and thoughts! Everything should be deliberate and conscious. Don’t just simply reach for things because that’s what you’ve always done. Make everything that you do conscious. Live in the moment and do only what you are doing! So, not caught up with fantasies, any daydreams like that.

The goal is to start acting consciously during a small portion of the day. Just a little bit, a couple times a day, and then from that point we can work up to larger things.

Benefits of Self-Observation

Starting to practice self-observation becomes a launch pad for all kinds of revelations and things. Simply deciding to self-observe while we wash the dishes, tie our shoes, or drive to work will lead to a point where we can radically modify many of the circumstances in our life. By strengthening that consciousness and developing that sense of self-observation, later on it will allow us to see a fork in the road in situations when negative emotions try to manifest themselves.

When it hurts-observe. Life is trying to teach you something.

Anita Krizzan

The worst circumstances of life, the most difficult and challenging times offer the best opportunities for inner discovery and self-observation. Life is a tremendous psychological gymnasium and many of the most difficult challenges, the negative things that happen to us offer us the best opportunities for inner discovery and self-observation.

If we don’t identify with these situations we will discover with astonishment aspects of our psyche that we didn’t even suspect existed. Many times, the difficult circumstances in our lives are caused by the most problematic aspects of our psychology that we have. These are the ones which urgently need comprehension as they cause the most problems and exert some serious influence on our life.

We all probably know someone that has problems because they can’t control their temper. They create all kinds of difficult situations due to that. It’s obvious to everyone around them that their temper is a problem. The person with the temper is rarely aware of it. It’s the same thing with people who are addicted to various substances like alcohol or drugs. It’s really difficult to watch because it’s so plainly obvious to you and everyone around them that they’re doing all this damage to themselves. But they don’t have that same perspective because they’re under the influence of that particular aspect of their subconscious.

So that’s why if you look at the difficult circumstances of our life, and try to self-observe in those moments, we can discover some of the most problematic aspects of our psychology many times are completely transparent to us. We don’t even see that they’re there and realize the control and influence they’re exerting on our lives.

We all uniquely have certain aspects of our psyche that manifest more than others. Some aspects of our psyche are stronger because we’ve been identifying with them more than others. We can usually spot these in other people, but very rarely can we spot these in ourselves.

We live in a very small part of ourselves. We are only aware of a small part of our psychology. We could ask right now “What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What am I doing?” But we’re only really aware of a small part of ourselves. Our consciousness only extends to a very small area. It’s like being in a big dark room with a small tiny candle. That little bit of consciousness can only illuminate a small area. That allows all the various aspects of our subconscious to hide in the darkness.

By working with self-observation we’re slowly making that light shine brighter and brighter extending that consciousness, extending that awareness of the self to a greater degree. As we shine that light brighter and brighter we start to see more things in the room. We start to see more things about ourselves. The end goal being to make that light shine so bright that there are no dark corners left for the subconscious to hide. We’ve been able to root it out and find it everywhere and mastered it.

Conclusion

The goal of self-observation is to widen our consciousness regarding ourselves. Self-observation is where it all starts. That’s the only way we’re going to get to any real point of revelation. We learn about ourselves by observing ourselves, catching ourselves in various moments.

How do we start to do that? By attaching that concept to regular mundane things that we do every day. Each day we self-observe a couple times, but it’s like a workout. If you want to lose a lot of weight or build muscle, you’re not going to do it in a day. But a little bit of work spread over a long period of time will bring you those results.

Ideally we want to be self-observing when those really challenging moments of life come to us. But if we’re not prepared for them, if we haven’t been “working out” then we’re not going to be prepared for the battle. If we can incorporate a little bit of self-observation every day, then when we have a difficult circumstance in our life, or a really strong emotion like anger or depression or fear, then we’re prepared for the battle. If we haven’t been “working out” by developing that sense of self-observation, then we’re probably not going to be able to win that one.

The present moment is the eternal instant, where our consciousness lives. Anytime we make an effort to be in the present moment, we’re activating our consciousness. Anytime we make an effort to be aware of where we are and what we’re doing, we’re working with our consciousness.

A lot of the difficult emotions that we experience regularly are often triggered by our subconscious pulling us out of the present moment. We can get angry reliving memories of the past where we may have been mistreated. We can feel insecure when remembering embarrassing events from the past. We can get anxious and nervous by worrying about the future.

We’ll find that the better we get at staying in the present moment, the better we’ll get at controlling these negative emotions. Whenever we feel ourselves getting angry or guilty or embarrassed about something from the past, we can just put ourselves into the present moment. Whenever we feel nervous or worried about the future, we can put ourselves in the present moment. Simply ask yourself “where am I right now, and what am I doing?”

Luckily there are an extensive amount of methods to practice being in the present moment. There are all kinds of activities all throughout our daily lives that we can use to practice being present.

Activity

Pick a routine activity, like getting ready in the morning, and be fully conscious of your actions. Be in the moment and do nothing mechanically. Don’t identify with any thoughts or images that enter your mind. Don’t identify with any emotions. So when you do your morning routine, whether it’s coffee, breakfast, shave, shower, whatever it is, be conscious for this. It could be multiple things throughout the day, like tying your shoes, or even driving to work.

While driving be conscious, in the present moment, not thinking about the past, not going  into memories, and not worrying about the future. Be aware of that car and everything around you, through the windows and in your mirrors. If everyone did this while driving, we’d all be paying low auto insurance and the road would be a safer place. You could pick a mundane or repetitive activity at work like filing papers. If you work around heavy machinery then that’d be a perfect time to practice being conscious. There’d be a lot less accidents.

You could use your weekend chores around your home to practice being conscious. All of your household chores like sweeping, vacuum cleaning, dusting, mopping, scrubbing, laundry cleaning, cooking, and washing dishes are all perfect opportunities to practice being present. You could also use outdoor chores like gardening, weeding, watering plants, raking leaves, shoveling snow, or washing the car.

If you choose washing dishes then you literally should be “picking up the plate, scrubbing it, rinsing it, placing it in the rack. Grab another one and repeat.” It seems silly but that’s what you need to do. You shouldn’t be “thinking about work tomorrow” or “looking forward to this weekend”, and then going through your chores in a mechanical, subconscious manner.

Do not Dwell in the Past, do not Dream of the Future, Concentrate the mind on the Present Moment.

Buddha

We don’t want to think of ourselves as robots, but so much of our day is routine and mechanical. The problem with that level of mechanics is it allows us to go on autopilot. We drove the same route to work so many times we don’t have to think about it anymore. Our trained actions can take over that while our mind wanders.

We’ve washed ourselves in the shower so many times we don’t even have to think about it. So in the shower we’re thinking about what we’re going to do at work that day. While we’re driving in the car we’re thinking about what we’re going to do at work that day. When we get to work we’re thinking about what we’re going to do at home that night. When we get home that night we’re thinking about what we’re going to do on the weekend. We’re always somewhere else. We’re never in the present moment while we wander around like robots. That’s why we have car accidents, and people walking into things or tripping over things.

Strangely our society is pushing that further. We’ve all heard the concept of “multi-tasking” and how “advantageous” it is. It’s been proven that we really aren’t good at multi-tasking. It’s the illusion of doing a whole lot of things while the chances of error spikes and productivity decreases.

One small instant a day of living consciously will have an amazing impact on the course of our life. When we do all of these chores and activities in the present moment, we’re essentially exercising our consciousness. Over time our consciousness will grow and develop. Just like if you want to lose weight, you’ll exercise a little bit every day and next thing you know a couple months have gone by and you’ve lost a bunch of weight. It’s the same idea with exercising our consciousness. If you pick a routine activity to be conscious every day, overtime you’ll slowly develop that consciousness.

One of the first things you’ll discover is how much of a force the subconscious is. It attempts to distract you more and more in crazier different ways. So that really allows you to understand a bit more about the subconscious. If you’re having trouble focusing on any task you might find it helpful to just look at what you’re doing. Actually look at your hands as they’re working. Look at whatever tools or appliances you may be using at the time. This should help you remain focused on your task at hand.

If you develop this practice enough you’ll start to spend less time identifying with the subconscious and all its aspects. When you have anger or other emotions trying to manifest, you’ll have more control over them. You won’t identify with difficult aspects of your psychology as easily and you’ll be able to stay in that present moment.

Another great exercise to practice being present is to take an Awareness Walk in nature. Find a hiking trail at some local nature reserve and go for a stroll. Ideally try to pick a trail that isn’t overly crowded or choose a time when the place isn’t particularly busy. Then just casually walk through it.

Be conscious of every step you take and be mindful of your surroundings. Observe all the trees and bushes and leaves and roots and plants. Listen to the birds and insects chirping and the squirrels and chipmunks moving. Observe and listen to any water flowing through rivers and streams. You’ll find an awareness walk is a great mind-clearing or relaxation exercise for when you’re angry or stressed out or anxious or nervous.

You might think a routine activity or chore like washing dishes is “boring”, and you’d want to think of something more pleasant to pass the time. We do that with all kinds of tasks and duties in our life. We’re faced with an activity we don’t want to do and we’ll do the task mechanically while our mind is somewhere else.

Now we can look at all of these mundane tasks and chores from a different perspective. Start to consider them as opportunities to work on strengthening your consciousness. Instead of seeing a chore as an annoying, tedious thing that you have to do, think of it as a challenging exercise for your consciousness.

Try to see how long you can remain focused on your task before you start identifying with any random thoughts or emotions. It’s like a game. You’ll be more motivated to do these mundane tasks in your life, knowing they can be used to strengthen your consciousness, which will ultimately give you better control over any psychological problems you may be struggling with.

We tend to think we’re in control, but we’re actually under the illusion of control, we’re really a victim of circumstance. We’re like a small ship tossed about on the stormy waters of the ocean. We simply go where the wind and the waves take us.

If we can imagine ourselves as a marionette or puppet, we have 3 strings coming off of us to the puppet master. Our subconscious is the puppet master and those strings are our own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Our thoughts, feelings and actions are the way our subconscious can interact, control, and influence us. It’s our subconscious that we’re dancing to and how our subconscious controls us is through our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Thoughts

Our thought process is useful because it is needed for the activities of the day, to communicate, plan, to do our work, etc. We use the thought process all the time and it is a very necessary thing. If we have an idea or are planning something we’re using our thought process. Thoughts drive daily activities and the overall scheme of one’s life.

We have 30 to 40 thousand thoughts a day, so our thought process is very busy. As useful as it is, it becomes something we have very little control over (we already experienced that if we’ve ever tried meditating and discovered how hard it is to stop and slow this process down) it becomes so overused and so overactive that it ends up becoming a distraction.

And it’s one of the reasons why we find our consciousness asleep, because we can’t really focus in the moment, because of all these thoughts being generated. It becomes a giant distraction and compels us to live with our consciousness asleep, trapped in a continual daydream.

Emotions

Emotions have an enormous control over us, overriding thought on occasion. We might think of our thought process as the most powerful, but we’ll discover that it’s actually the slowest. Our emotions are a lot more powerful, and we don’t give it a lot of attention to what goes on.

For example, there’s getting angry and lashing out at someone. That’s a really powerful emotion, and when we find ourselves under anger it easily overrides thought. It makes us do things we’re embarrassed or ashamed of, and make us say things to hurt those around us. We’ve all done silly things out of anger that we’ve later regretted. We’ve looked back on it once the emotion was gone and thought “oh no, what did I do, why did I do that? That was silly. I shouldn’t have done that.” But at the time the intellect is nowhere in that process because the anger had taken over and it was pure emotion that was calling the shots.

Thoughts come and go, but emotions can last much longer. A strong emotion like anger or depression or fear is like a really big elephant sitting in a living room. Once it walks in and sits down, there’s no way you’re going to move that thing easily. Thoughts can be seen as little butterflies or hummingbirds that just zip around all over the place. Thoughts come and go fairly quickly, but emotions last much longer. When an emotion settles in with us, it’s hard to move if it’s a strong one.

A lot of the things we feel throughout the day can actually come from external sources. They come from movies and television and sports and video games and music. As humans we find ourselves almost “addicted” to emotions by engaging in “entertaining” activities such as watching TV, movies, watching sports, playing video games, listening to modern music, etc. For example:

• As we’re watching a movie and we’re getting caught up in the action and drama we’re identifying with our emotions. People sitting around watching movies identifying with the actors and crying along with them are giving into their emotions.
• Video-gamers who enjoy all the explosions and gunfire and get caught up in the violence from video games are identifying with emotions.
• People who watch sports events and get caught up in the drama, getting angry, yelling and screaming, are identifying with their emotions. People who get into boxing, and MMA, and hockey because they like to watch the fights and the violence are identifying with their emotions.

Activities like watching TV and movies and sports, and playing video games and listening to music are so popular in our society because they artificially stimulate our emotions. Why would you cry over a movie? It’s not real. They’re actors. Of course we all know this, but we still want to experience that. Why would you be afraid of a horror movie? It’s on a television screen. It’s not real, but the fear is still there. It’s because certain aspects of our psychology want to “feed” themselves. We like doing all these activities because they artificially stimulate our emotions, which allow aspects of our subconscious to manifest and sustain themselves.

Actions & Instincts

Our actions are faster than our thought process, but slower than our emotions.  Think of a typist or musician. Their hands move on their own, but when they stop and think is when they make a mistake. Someone who is proficient at typing won’t have to think of where their fingers are going. It’s when they stop and think about what they are going to do next is when they slow down and make a mistake. If you try to put the intellect in its place and think “what’s the next step?” it will slow the process down. You won’t be able to be as dexterous as you’d be if you just let your actions do their thing.

The whole purpose of practicing is training your body to perform certain “actions”. Any physical skill or athletic ability from playing an instrument to typing on a keyboard to skating or skate-boarding to riding a bike to driving a car, to playing sports or learning martial arts or dancing, is a result of training the body to perform certain actions.

We all have physical habits that we have to study through self-observation. There are so many things we do that we’re not fully aware of.  Most of us aren’t aware of the habits which condition our lives. There are all kinds of different routines and habits that we have. For example:

• Every day when we get ready in the morning we probably do the same routine, go downstairs, put the coffee maker on, go in the shower, wash your body the same way, grab the soap with the same hand.
• While driving if you have your mind occupied you reach your destination and you realize “I’m already here and I don’t remember a good portion of this drive.” That’s how a lot of accidents happen. We drive the same route to work every day, make the same turns, we stop at the same intersections, to the point that we don’t even have to be there anymore. Our mind can be somewhere else while we let our “trained actions” take care of the drive for us.

We have all these routine habits that we do over and over again. Because so much our life is routine and mechanical, that’s one of those things that allow us not to be in the present moment. These repetitive, mechanical actions that we have allow us to remain with our consciousness asleep for most of the day. We don’t have to be aware in that shower because it’s routine. We can be worrying about work or thinking about the weekend while we get ready in the morning.

Sometimes we go into “robot mode”, and it’s not until when something out of the ordinary happens that we realize we’re not really aware. We all know when we’re not paying attention with awareness in a vehicle, that’s when we get into car accidents. If we’re walking down the street and not paying attention we could walk into somebody or trip on the sidewalk or walk into a telephone poll or something. It’s not until that happens that we realize that we’re oblivious to our surroundings, trapped inside our own mind.

We must observe the way we act, dress, walk and pay attention to some of these patterns. When we get ready in the morning and have a shower, we should actually be there having a shower experiencing the present moment, developing that consciousness. We should not be lost in a routine where we daydream, worry, plan, etc. Rather than being in a car driving and not paying attention, be actually observing what it is that we’re doing. If everybody who drives practiced self-observation we’d have a lot less car accidents and injuries and fatalities on the road.

We should start observing our movements when experiencing certain emotions. Notice they differ from when we’re excited, depressed, angry, or fearful. For example, biting nails, wringing hands, tapping fingers are the actions we have when we’re nervous.

In addition to our movements that are learned with practice (walking, riding a bike, sports), we also have instinctive actions. These are movements and motions that we don’t have to learn. They are given for basic survival virtually from birth. These include our reflexes and they are incredibly fast. We’re not even aware of a lot of these things.

If you’re about to fall, your hands automatically come out in front of your face. You don’t have to stop and think about that. A loud sound behind us makes us jump. Something falls and reaching out to grab it. These are instincts. We can appreciate how fast these are because we don’t even know it’s happened until it’s over.

We have various instincts as we are technically animals. There’s a lot programmed into us-survival, self-preservation etc. When an animal is hungry it will seek out food to feed itself. When an animal is thirsty it will seek out water. An animal will always act to defend itself from attackers. An animal will always act to defend its young. An animal will always go out at some point to procreate and continue the species. These are things that we share with the animal kingdom.

The problem is because of our intellect and free will as humans, our instincts get “perverted” or “corrupted” in a sense. A lot of the psychological problems that we have actually trace back to these various instincts. For example:

• When we overdo the “fight or flight” instinct we now get aggression and violent behavior, as well as various fears and phobias and anxieties.
• When we overdo the instinct to procreate the species, we get lust, pornography, prostitution, etc.
• When we overdo the instinct to feed ourselves we get into gluttony and forms of addition like alcohol, drugs, etc.

So a lot of the characteristics that we find in our humanity relate back to corruptions or perversions of our animal instincts. Because we have free will, we’re able to take these instincts to various extremes.

The Whole Package

We must not allow our life to continue to unfold mechanically! If we really want to see a positive change in our life, then we have to break some of the routines that we have. We really have to look at the whole process of being human as very mechanical.

Our thoughts are very mechanical. We have the same thoughts at the same points in response to the same circumstances. Our emotions are in many situations are mechanical. If someone insults you, then you get offended. If someone compliments you, you feel happy. Our physical activities are very mechanical. Think of everything we do from when we get up to when we go to bed. It’s just one giant routine after another. We’re like a train going around and around on the same set of tracks.

What we’ll eventually notice when we work with self-observation is that these thoughts that we have are related to the emotions that we have and are related to the actions that we have. It’s like a package.

We have to study our subconscious in our thoughts, feelings, and actions and instincts, the whole package. We have to observe everything that’s happening in each of these and how they’re influencing everything we’re doing. Self-observation refers to the whole picture. In any difficult situation you find yourself if in, check in with your thoughts, feelings, and actions. What are the thoughts related to this situation? What does it do to you emotionally? What does it cause you to do physically?

Many times you’ll find there’s a relationship here. You’ll be thinking certain thoughts, which will trigger certain emotions, which will produce certain actions. You’ll also find each of these has a complicated set of triggers and reactions, which are mechanical. Many thoughts, feelings, and actions that we have are simply a reaction to a circumstance. It’s like a mathematical formula, A + B = C. Part of self-observation is discovering that equation, observing the reaction, and seeing all the things that we put into place to create that reaction.

People typically overuse one of these 3 effects more than the others. The way you can look at this is: the thinkers, the feelers, and the doers. Odds are you belong to one of those 3 categories. The intellectuals are the thinkers, the academics. These are people that enjoy reading, learning, and taking courses. The emotional people are the feelers, the sensitive artists. These are people that enjoy watching a good movie, listening to music, going out to museums and art galleries. Then there are the doers, people that love physical activity. They like sports and fitness.

If you’re trying to figure out which category you belong to, ask yourself when something bad happens to you in your life, what do you do? Do you think about it and try to figure out how to get out of it? Would you throw something or punch a hole in the wall or go out for a jog? Or are you the person to lock yourself in a dark room, put on some sad music and cry about it for a while? As funny as that sounds, that’s really what a lot of humanity breaks down into, the thinkers, the feelers, and the doers.

We should try to balance the way our subconscious acts through us. We should try to avoid overusing any one of those 3 things. Once we figured out which one we’re overusing, we should make an effort to balance our use of thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Controlling Negative Emotions

When it comes to controlling these effects, you’ll find that your actions are the easiest to control. You just don’t do anything. The thought process is harder to control, but it is possible. Part of the process of meditation is controlling the thought process. It’s difficult at first, but with practice we can control it. Our emotions are the difficult one to control. Negative emotions and feelings like anger and anxiety and depression are really hard to control. That’s the really big elephant in the room that comes in and sits down, and you can’t move it easily.

Elephant Analogy

Here’s a story that leads to a tip on how to control some of these negative emotions. In the Hindu culture elephants were important. When elephant handlers came across an elephant that was difficult to control, they would place it in between 2 well-behaved “good” elephants. The “crazy elephant” would then start to do as it was told and behave.

In this story is a trick in which we can work with our negative emotions. We have to control our emotions with our thought process and our actions. We have to put our “crazy elephant” in between our two “well behaved elephants”. Our emotions are what we have hardly any control over. Our actions are easy to control. Our thoughts can be controlled with some work. So by understanding how to control our thoughts and actions, it can lead to controlling our emotions.

If we find ourselves identifying with negative emotions like anger, depression, or fear, we should lie down in bed or a chair, relax and make our mind go blank, i.e. meditate. Usually we have movements that accompany our negative emotional states. By lying down and relaxing we’re taking those movements away. We also have various thoughts associated with that negative emotion. Making the mind go blank then controls the thought process. The end result of those 2 is to cause the emotion to calm down as well.

Bully Analogy

After you’ve used the elephant analogy to “take away” your thoughts and actions there’s one more thing you can do to speed up the process in controlling the emotion. That is Letting go of Resistance.

Imagine that this negative emotion is like a bully. What does a typical school bully want to get out of his victims? Usually it’s some sort of reaction. By getting a reaction out of you, they know that they’re bothering you, tormenting you, and making your life miserable.

• They could be threatening you in order to intimidate and scare you and get you to break down and cry.
• They could be insulting you to tick you off and provoke you into starting a fight.
• They could be making fun of you or mocking you to hurt your self-esteem and make you feel insecure.

The bully gets his satisfaction by making you miserable, and so he’s going to keep on bothering you as long as you keep reacting to him. In other words, as long as you continue to show that you’re bothered by his behavior and want him to STOP, he will keep on going.

So what’s the solution here? You have to fully “surrender” to the bully. By this I don’t mean continue reacting like a victim. I mean show that you’re not bothered by his behavior, and you don’t want him to stop. Keep a straight face and don’t react to anything the bully says. Allow all of his mockery to “roll” off you like nothing. Allow the bully to keep carrying on and just knock himself out.

Eventually, the bully will tire himself out, as he’s not getting anything out of you. Therefore, he’ll probably get bored of you and give up.

It’s a very similar idea with your emotions. A lot of these negative emotions sustain themselves by your resistance to them. As long as you feel tormented, victimized, or “bothered” by these emotions and want them to STOP, they will keep going.

But when you fully surrender and let-go of resistance to the emotion, then it starts to lose its control over you. It’s like you are just sitting back and allowing the emotion to do whatever it wants to do, while you just “don’t care” about it; like you’re not bothered by it, and don’t mind it being there.

By doing this you are taking away the resistance that the emotion needs to sustain itself. Once you get this concept and start working with it, you’ll be well on your way to overcoming some of your worst emotions.

Putting it Together

After understanding these two processes you can put them together into a nice practice for the intent of controlling a strong negative emotion. Next time you find yourself overpowered by a strong negative emotion, try this exercise to calm yourself down:

1. Lie down in bed or sit in a chair, and get comfortable. You want to take away all the movements associated with this negative emotion that your dealing with.
2. Make the mind go blank, or meditate. You want to take away all the thoughts that are associated with this negative emotion.
3. Lay back and fully surrender to the emotion. Just allow the emotion to do whatever it wants to do and “don’t care” about it. You want to let go of all resistance that you have to this emotion.

Lying down and meditating allows you to come back and look at the problem or situation with a completely different light, which allows you to reach a lot more of a faster solution. By simply lying down, blanking the mind, and letting go of resistance, that’s enough to slow down your emotions. Then you can stay in the present moment and really examine the problem or situation for what it is and come to a proper solution, rather than acting out of anger or fear or depression.

The foundation for the subconscious is the dualism of the mind. The subconscious is sustained by the battle of the opposites. A lot of the events and circumstances of life are really mental forms with 2 poles, positive and negative.

We live our entire life going from one extreme to the other: pleasure, pain, like, dislike, amusement, boredom, success, failure, etc. Times of well-being and times of upset appear in all aspects of our lives from our relationships, health, finances, job, moods etc. Periods of happiness are always followed by periods of sadness.

Every thought we have has 2 polarities: positive and negative. This doesn’t necessarily mean “good and bad” but more like thesis and antithesis. Whatever thought we have, there’s an opposite of it. That’s how we’re wired to think. Every thought that enters our mind we can see as a duality to something else.

Typically, when a thought enters our mind we identify with one polarity. We associate with one aspect of a particular image or memory or situation or circumstance. For example:

• We’re excited about a new job we just landed. We’re eager to start gaining experience and happy to start making some money. However, that is just one aspect or polarity of this situation. We have to acknowledge the other polarity, which is having to sacrifice all our time and energy for work, leaving us exhausted and overwhelmed.
• We’re excited for a weekend road trip. We’re looking forward to the journey as we like to travel and we’re excited about our plans. The other polarity to this could be all the money that we’ll spend, and the exhaustion that we’ll feel once the weekend is over, sitting through that long commute back home. We’ll also have to unpack, which is tedious, especially when you’re tired.
• You’re happy and joyful that you just started dating someone that you really like. You’re so overjoyed and excited about all the fun times you’re going to have together. Your life seems to be going fantastic and you feel like you’re the king of the world. But you haven’t considered the other polarity to this situation: You have to meet your partner’s parents and interact with their family, which is intimidating, nerve-wracking, and stressful. You have to sacrifice time and money for your partner. You’re probably going to end up getting into arguments and fights at some point.
• We are faced with the memory or image of our significant other. We then associate with one polarity, which is beauty, attraction, desire, etc. That’s just one side of the coin. We also have to acknowledge the other side, which is repulsion, old age, unattractive. At some point they are going to grow old and age and lose their beauty.

By being human we only want to acknowledge one polarity of everything. We draw this line in the sand and say “I like this. I don’t like that. I only want to be over here. I don’t want to be over there.” By defining our own happiness we consequently define our own sadness. By defining our own pleasure we also define our own pain.

By reaching further and further to one side, we’re also reaching further to the other side. It’s like a pendulum that swings. The further you push it to one side, the further it will swing to the other side.

We must learn to live outside the pendulum and avoid the extremes by seeking the centre path. We must learn not to take part in the swing between extremes and not identify with either pole, the positive or negative aspects of anything. You must see events and circumstances of life revolving around you rather than participating directly in them. Instead of riding the pendulum swinging from side to side with it, you must watch it swing around you.

We must comprehend both sides to everything and stop identifying with only one side. When you become used to seeing things from outside the pendulum, at the center of the circle, then everything changes and you free yourself from the struggle of the opposites. Action free from mental dualism produces the awakening of the consciousness.