We think we are in control of our lives, but a lot of the things we do are merely reactions. We simply react to situations. We react to other people. We react to the circumstances of life. If somebody insults us, then we get angry and upset. If someone compliments us, then we feel good. If we’re stuck in a traffic jam while driving, we react in anger and impatience. If someone cuts us off on the road, we get angry.

We like to think we’re in control but in many cases we’re under the illusion of control. We’re not even in control of our own mind. We like to think we are, but if we ever try to meditate or quiet our mind, we quickly discover how difficult that is to do. We get continuously assaulted by an endless stream of thoughts, images, and memories that keep us continuously distracted. Consequently, we find ourselves in a perpetual dream-like state. Our consciousness is asleep.

As we begin to observe ourselves we will uncover a hidden side of ourselves. By definition the average human being has a large portion of their psychology that’s hidden from them. Just like the moon has a dark side, our mind has a side that we’re not aware of. That’s the definition of the unconscious or subconscious.  The subconscious is this massive section that we are completely unaware of what’s happening.

Unfortunately for us, the subconscious is the source of a lot of the impulses, drives, emotions, thoughts, feelings, and reactions that we have. When we start observing ourselves and start becoming “conscious” of our own thoughts, feelings, and actions, we uncover the whole hidden side of ourselves that we were completely unaware of. This is something that happens through the process of self-observation.

We will discover that we are unable to control certain aspects of our mind.  Anger and depression and anxiety are all very hard to control. Nobody wants to experience these, but they’re not so simple. You can’t just “snap” out of it or tell yourself to “get over it”. These are very difficult states or emotions that take a lot of effort to overcome.

Emotions such as anger, lust, envy, fear, and depression all seem to operate with “a mind of their own”. It’s like each one of them represents a different person inside of us. How many times have we lost our temper with someone and found ourselves having to apologize later. We end up saying “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t really mean it.”

The next question is if you “didn’t really mean it”, who meant it then? How did it happen? What came over you? Where did that reaction come from? What part of your psychology produced that behavior? If it was directed at a loved one, someone you care about, then why would you want to say hurtful things to them or do hurtful actions to them? Where exactly did that behavior come from?

We have all kinds of things like that happening throughout our lives, but we never really stop to question where and why? What is anger exactly? Why did I exhibit that emotion? Where did it come from? What triggered it and what kind of effects did it have on my surroundings, the people around me. These are the types of questions that we don’t ask, but we will start to ask when we begin studying ourselves.

We have so many behaviors that we just accept and take for granted. We judge and criticize everyone around us, but very rarely do we judge and criticize ourselves. One of the most important aspects of working on psychology is to take all that effort used in judging and criticizing other people and direct that internally. Rather than questioning “what’s their problem? What are they acting like that for?” Instead direct that inwards when we find ourselves in a similar situation.

We’re like a small ship tossed about in the stormy waters of the ocean. These uncontrollable aspects of our psychology become the wind and the waves of our ship. They control and manipulate most of our lives and actions.

We all know people who have problems with anger or addiction or lust or envy, and end up complicating all kinds of aspects of their lives. We’re usually able to see their problem and always question “why can’t they see what they’re doing? Don’t they understand the consequences of their actions? Can’t they see that they’re always single because… Can’t they see that they’re broke and have no money because… Can’t they see they’re unemployed because…” That’s always clearly visible in other people but something we rarely see in ourselves.

These “uncontrollable” aspects of our psyche are the cause of the suffering and misery that we experience; the unpleasant things in life, the difficult circumstances and experiences that we wish we didn’t have.  When we look at a difficult circumstance of our life and figure out what happened, we usually see it’s the result of these uncontrollable aspects of our psyche.

There is a continuous search for pleasure to escape from misery. Because we’re under the influence of all this negative stuff like anger, fear, and depression we have a continual search for pleasure as an escape from the misery. That’s why as a society we become so materialistic; we look for this “happiness” from somewhere else. The happiness can’t come from within because we have all this negative stuff there, so we look for it in cars and houses and jobs and money, forms of entertainment etc. Some people go as far as drugs and alcohol as an attempt to find that pleasure or “happiness”.

We constantly find ourselves shifting between pleasure and pain, highs and lows. We’re constantly going from being really happy and enjoying something to being depressed or upset. We’re like a pendulum, constantly swinging from one extreme to the other as we find ourselves transitioning from the high points to the low points. This is an unbalanced way of living that can cause all kinds of problems psychologically.

It is unnecessary for us to continue living like this. We can choose to start working on our psychology. This blog will act as a practical guide for anyone suffering with any kind of psychological problem or just looking to improve their mental health. It will feature various tips and tools and techniques that will help you understand and control various aspects of your mind.

The contents of this blog should help you to transform yourself in a practical, positive manner. It’ll help you to transform from a stressed out, nervous-wreck into a calm, relaxed, tranquil person. It’ll help you change from a timid, insecure person into a bold, confident person. It’ll help you change from an angry, wrathful, tempered person into a kind, easy-going, patient person.

Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for more content to come.