Our daily lives are a psychological gymnasium. Practical life is a tremendous school. A lot of things that happen to us are an opportunity to learn something. They’re giving us a chance to uncover a certain aspect of our psychology, learn from it, and better ourselves.

All those things that happen to us, the frustrations, the successes, the failures of life are all opportunities for us to learn. We can see our everyday life, from getting up in the morning, to going to work, to coming home, is like a workout for our psychology. Just like we go to the gym to work-out and perfect our bodies, life is where we go to work out and perfect our mind.

Unfortunately, daily life also becomes a distraction. Instead we get caught up in things like possessions and materialistic things, and friends and family and relationships, and coworkers and our job. We get caught up in all these things.

The greatest distraction and the barrier to inner peace and self-awareness is the subconscious. What creates the distraction? What creates the obsession with material things, the houses, the cars, the job, money, etc.? Where does that all come from? That comes from the subconscious.

What is it that prevents this inner peace? Why are our emotions always up and down and our mood always side to side, and our thoughts always coming and going? Why are we always flying all over the place? It’s the subconscious. Why is our consciousness asleep and we can’t have inner happiness? That’s all because of the subconscious.

All psychological work begins with rigorous observation of one’s self, attention concentrated on the full observation of ourselves. What is it that we think? What is it that we feel? What is it that we do? So many times we’re oblivious to all the different motives that drive our everyday life. Unfortunately our subconscious mind is where a lot of our motives and impulses come from.

We must stop believing we’re a single individual and comprehend with direct observation that each desire, each thought, each action or passion corresponds to one aspect of our psychology or another.

We must attempt to separate from our psyche the diverse undesirable elements that we carry within. We have to start to be able to delineate the difference between the consciousness and the fear, the anger, the depression, the jealousy, all these different impulses that drive our lives.

Self-Observation

Self-observation is the tool we use to suddenly have that revelation and start to learn to distinguish between the consciousness and the subconscious. Self-observation is becoming aware and conscious of all our thoughts, feelings, and actions. That’s the ultimate goal, but we have to get there a little bit at a time.

So if you’re in a difficult situation, self-observation is then being aware of what are the thoughts going through your mind in that situation, what are the emotions and feelings you’re experiencing, and what are your physical actions.

Remember we’re like a puppet on 3 strings. The strings are our thoughts, feelings, and actions. That’s how the subconscious controls and influences everything we do, in the meantime feeding and sustaining itself.

We need to be in a situation where we’re behaving a certain way, but suddenly realize how that aspect of our psyche is manifesting. For example, we might be making bad relationship decisions and then suddenly realize “This is actually the result of a particular fear. I’m only acting like this because I’m afraid of being alone. I don’t want to be alone right now, so consequently this is happening.”

It could be feeling ourselves being frustrated and angry and then realizing “this is only happening because of my inflated sense of self-importance. I’m angry right now because I’m very important and don’t these people know what they’re doing? Hey wait a sec, I’m not so important. I’m not more important than anybody else. What’s going on here?” That’s how self-observation works.

Self-Observation is used to discover the various aspects of our psyche, and how they influence and control our lives. Recall we’re like a small ship tossed about in the stormy waters of the ocean. Well we better figure out what the wind and the waves are doing and where they are trying to take us.

We’re trying to discover the effects the subconscious has on our actions and lives and figure out what they’re trying to do. All of us have different aspects of our psychology trying to accomplish different things, different desires, and wants. We have to figure out how these things are steering us and directing the course of our lives.

How to Self-Observe

When we truly and sincerely begin to observe ourselves we end up dividing ourselves into two parts. If we sit down and give self-observation a try we will instantly create a split. If right now you asked yourself “What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What am I doing?”, then you will create a split and separate yourself into 2 parts.

1. The observer-that which is watching, the consciousness.
2. The observed-that which is being watched, the subconscious.

When we work with self-observation there are a couple things that happen. First we create a split, which immediately diverts the attention to the consciousness. That’s like a workout or an exercise for the consciousness. Usually we don’t pay any attention to the consciousness and pay a ton of attention to the subconscious mind. When we self-observe that’s a workout for the consciousness. Every time we do it the consciousness gets stronger.

The other thing that happens is you get placed in the present moment. The consciousness lives in the present moment. The subconscious is trying to drag us into the past or pull us into the future and never wants us to be present. For you to suddenly say “What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What am I doing? Where am I? What’s going on?”, you’re suddenly becoming aware and focused in the present moment. It snaps you out of whatever daydream you were in.

The subconscious can’t observe the subconscious. It is the consciousness that observes it. In order to begin the process of self-observation, we have to shift the attention to the consciousness, which then begins to watch the subconscious, which creates a different state of mind immediately.

Whenever we work with self-observation there’s always a fork in the road. We can go one of 2 ways: the conscious way or the subconscious way. The subconscious way gets us into all kinds of problems in our life. The conscious way doesn’t.

So let’s say something happens that makes you angry. If you’re not self-observing, you’re identifying with the subconscious and giving into the impulses it has. Maybe you’re lashing out at somebody, saying hurtful words, getting frustrated and tense. But if you’re working with self-observation and create that split, then you can watch those things as they develop, but from a different vantage point. The whole time you’re from this vantage point, you’re not identifying with the subconscious. You’re not giving into it.

You can feel the impulse to think “I really want to say this or do that” but you’re not giving into it. It allows you to stay conscious. A normal course of action is to give into the subconscious, and act, feel, say, do whatever, and then look back later and regret your behavior. Working with self-observation allows us to be conscious and not give in to the subconscious. While we’re conscious we’re able to learn things. We’re able to get to a different perspective on situations. We’re able to arrive at a different revelation.

We have to almost fold our attention internally, and that’s something we normally don’t do. Our attention is always directed externally and we never look within. By never looking within and paying attention to our interior, we’ve created an image of ourselves that’s not very accurate. We have all these preconceived notions of who we are and how we should be perceived that in many cases are completely inaccurate.

Instead of judging ourselves and learning about ourselves, we instead judge, criticize, and condemn other people. Rarely do we ever criticize ourselves. The whole process of self-observation is almost folding your attention inwards instead of outwards at other people.

Many things like frustration, anger, impatience all stem from an elevated sense of who we are. “I am very important. Don’t you know what you did to me?” When we look at our behaviour we see that we excuse actions in ourselves that we wouldn’t tolerate for a minute in others.

So when somebody is getting us angry, instead of directing all that anger at them because they did something, we’re instead folding that attention inside to see where that emotion came from. Why is it there? Why is it manifesting? What is it trying to get us to do, to think, to feel?

If we’re paying attention and we’re alert like a sentry at a time of war, we can see these things sneaking forward. Creating that split is necessary in order to not identify with aspects of our subconscious. The mistake we’ve been making all our lives has been giving into them; we’ve assumed they were us. If we felt angry, then we went with anger because “I am angry”.

When we see these subconscious aspects of our psyche as “part of us” we identify with them and that’s what we’ve done our entire life. That’s why we’ve found ourselves getting angry, being depressed, being afraid, being frustrated, being anxious, being impatient, etc. We’ve always identified with them and we saw them as part of us.

If we identify with aspects of our subconscious we strengthen them. We may find that emotions and thoughts are almost an “addiction”. We may find for example, people that have a short temper are almost literally “addicted” to their anger. So they find themselves manifesting it all the time. People who are addicted to depression find themselves depressed all the time.

If we have a problem with anger or fear or depression, then they are constantly trying to manifest themselves. There are all these circumstances that are happening in our lives that the subconscious wants to associate with. It’s finding little ways to trigger these emotions. So when certain triggers happen, you’ll be depressed, or angry or scared. The subconscious uses those little triggers to generate those emotions and essentially “feed” and sustain itself. Part of self-observation is starting to recognize these triggers and watch out for them.

We also have start determining the source of our behaviors, and which aspects of our psychology they’re coming from. We must be able to say “this thought is from pride” or “this desire is caused by lust.” We have to be able to see the thoughts, feelings, actions, and recognize where they’re coming from.

When we start to self-observe we will notice repetitions of events, states of consciousness, words, thoughts, desires etc. that exist in each day of our existence. We live a very mechanical existence and we’ve gone through our whole life with these formulas of A + B = C. We have inherited behaviors, prejudices, and all kinds of stuff that exist in our psychology.

We will experience first-hand the level of mechanics that governs our lives. We usually aren’t aware of how mechanical our existence is. When you start paying attention you can see everything from your morning routine to what you do on your way to work to what you do at work to what you do when you come home. We have these mechanical things that we do over and over again.

We’ve all made mistakes from when we weren’t paying attention. We’ve caused problems because we weren’t conscious. We weren’t thinking. Our mind wasn’t into what we were doing because we had that level of mechanics, which created that complacency, which allowed us to daydream.

Many times we are completely oblivious to things around us. There are all kinds of details we miss in our environment. There are things we’re not even aware of. How many times have you been looking for something and realized “Oh it’s been there all along. Why didn’t I see it before?” Because you weren’t conscious. You weren’t taking in all the information. We’ve just created many times our own reality around us, which can lead to all kinds of strange behaviours as a result.

Self-observation creates awareness. That awareness activates the consciousness. Self-observation says “I need to be here in the now and pay attention.” That breaks the cycle of mechanics, which allows the consciousness to activate and come forth in the present moment.

That awareness then allows us not to identify with the subconscious. Not identifying with the subconscious then allows us to study it and understand it. That brings us one step closer towards being able to control it and change it within our psychology.

When to Self-Observe

The goal is to be constantly observing ourselves from moment-to-moment, fully aware of the subconscious within us. Somebody with their consciousness awakened is fully aware, fully observing, working directly with the consciousness from moment-to-moment. That’s the goal. Obviously it’s going to take us a little bit of time and practice in order to reach a state like that. That’s not going to happen overnight or instantly.

But like any skill, we have to start somewhere and gradually develop the ability. It is impossible to observe moment-to-moment without any practice. We have to work up to it. Just like it’s impossible to sit behind a piano and pull off Motzart’s best symphonies if you’ve never learned to play the piano.

And it’s important to remember that because when we don’t see results we tend to get frustrated. You have to treat this like you’re just learning how to play an instrument. If you’re 6 weeks into learning the piano you’re not playing symphonies yet. You’re still figuring out where the keys are. We have to start somewhere.

To start the process, begin by choosing a time each day or a time on certain days to self-observe. We want to equate self-observation with a regular action that we do; something as simple as tying our shoes, having a shower, or driving to work. It could something as simple as whenever you leave one room and walk into another room.

Whatever you do you just want to say “During my day x=self-observation.” You could put reminders on your computer or your phone or notes around your house. The idea is to make self-observation a habit. Pick a process. “When I do this, that means I’m going to self-observe for as long as I can.” Eventually you’re going to slide back into your regular state of mind because of the strength of the subconscious, but you want to start this.

The easiest way to begin is to observe all those mechanical habits when facing all the small mundane tasks at work or home. You may want to self-observe when you’re angry or when you’re afraid, but those emotions and impulses are so strong, that it’s really hard to stay conscious if you’re not used to self-observing.

Yes, we want to try to self-observe when we’re angry or when we’re afraid, but we need to get some practice because those are strong emotions, which generate some powerful thoughts. You’re going to have a really hard time if that’s what you’re going to try to do first. But if you’ve got some practice and you’ve developed that consciousness a bit, then it’ll be easier when that anger manifests or when that fear manifests.

That’s why the best way to start is with those regular mundane things; having a shower, washing the dishes, tying your shoes, driving to work, because it’s fairly simple to self-observe for short periods of time on something mundane. But by doing that you’re strengthening that sense so when that anger does manifest you stand a greater chance at being able to self-observe. And over time that ability grows and grows.

For example, decide to self-observe while getting ready for work in the morning or while doing a particular activity at work we find “boring” that you go on autopilot for. Depending on what your work day is, everybody has something they do at work that they just go on autopilot for. You want to basically associate self-observation with something. So when you’re doing this activity, self-observation happens.

Remember when you’re doing this to put your focus and attention on the moment and task at hand. What are you thinking, feeling, and doing? What are those thoughts going through your mind? Where did those thoughts come from? This is your chance to analyze yourself. And then after you’ve done that go back to your task, but try to stay aware for as long as you can; before those thoughts, those fantasies, those daydreams come back in, and take you out of the present moment.

Don’t let the subconscious distract you – no automatic actions and thoughts! Everything should be deliberate and conscious. Don’t just simply reach for things because that’s what you’ve always done. Make everything that you do conscious. Live in the moment and do only what you are doing! So, not caught up with fantasies, any daydreams like that.

The goal is to start acting consciously during a small portion of the day. Just a little bit, a couple times a day, and then from that point we can work up to larger things.

Benefits of Self-Observation

Starting to practice self-observation becomes a launch pad for all kinds of revelations and things. Simply deciding to self-observe while we wash the dishes, tie our shoes, or drive to work will lead to a point where we can radically modify many of the circumstances in our life. By strengthening that consciousness and developing that sense of self-observation, later on it will allow us to see a fork in the road in situations when negative emotions try to manifest themselves.

When it hurts-observe. Life is trying to teach you something.

Anita Krizzan

The worst circumstances of life, the most difficult and challenging times offer the best opportunities for inner discovery and self-observation. Life is a tremendous psychological gymnasium and many of the most difficult challenges, the negative things that happen to us offer us the best opportunities for inner discovery and self-observation.

If we don’t identify with these situations we will discover with astonishment aspects of our psyche that we didn’t even suspect existed. Many times, the difficult circumstances in our lives are caused by the most problematic aspects of our psychology that we have. These are the ones which urgently need comprehension as they cause the most problems and exert some serious influence on our life.

We all probably know someone that has problems because they can’t control their temper. They create all kinds of difficult situations due to that. It’s obvious to everyone around them that their temper is a problem. The person with the temper is rarely aware of it. It’s the same thing with people who are addicted to various substances like alcohol or drugs. It’s really difficult to watch because it’s so plainly obvious to you and everyone around them that they’re doing all this damage to themselves. But they don’t have that same perspective because they’re under the influence of that particular aspect of their subconscious.

So that’s why if you look at the difficult circumstances of our life, and try to self-observe in those moments, we can discover some of the most problematic aspects of our psychology many times are completely transparent to us. We don’t even see that they’re there and realize the control and influence they’re exerting on our lives.

We all uniquely have certain aspects of our psyche that manifest more than others. Some aspects of our psyche are stronger because we’ve been identifying with them more than others. We can usually spot these in other people, but very rarely can we spot these in ourselves.

We live in a very small part of ourselves. We are only aware of a small part of our psychology. We could ask right now “What am I thinking? What am I feeling? What am I doing?” But we’re only really aware of a small part of ourselves. Our consciousness only extends to a very small area. It’s like being in a big dark room with a small tiny candle. That little bit of consciousness can only illuminate a small area. That allows all the various aspects of our subconscious to hide in the darkness.

By working with self-observation we’re slowly making that light shine brighter and brighter extending that consciousness, extending that awareness of the self to a greater degree. As we shine that light brighter and brighter we start to see more things in the room. We start to see more things about ourselves. The end goal being to make that light shine so bright that there are no dark corners left for the subconscious to hide. We’ve been able to root it out and find it everywhere and mastered it.

Conclusion

The goal of self-observation is to widen our consciousness regarding ourselves. Self-observation is where it all starts. That’s the only way we’re going to get to any real point of revelation. We learn about ourselves by observing ourselves, catching ourselves in various moments.

How do we start to do that? By attaching that concept to regular mundane things that we do every day. Each day we self-observe a couple times, but it’s like a workout. If you want to lose a lot of weight or build muscle, you’re not going to do it in a day. But a little bit of work spread over a long period of time will bring you those results.

Ideally we want to be self-observing when those really challenging moments of life come to us. But if we’re not prepared for them, if we haven’t been “working out” then we’re not going to be prepared for the battle. If we can incorporate a little bit of self-observation every day, then when we have a difficult circumstance in our life, or a really strong emotion like anger or depression or fear, then we’re prepared for the battle. If we haven’t been “working out” by developing that sense of self-observation, then we’re probably not going to be able to win that one.